It seems the thing to do right now is set some goals for the New Year. Do you do that? Well, I am not going to. I know that each and every one of the next 365 days will be what I make of it. My mission is to let the day unfold as it is meant to, working within it’s boundaries, noticing the light or the lilt of my daughter’s voice; simply being here. My structured temperament certainly does not need more to-dos, especially after an exhausting couple of months of holidays and birthdays.
Though it was thoughtful and detailed, the goal-setting process when I used to work in a corporate office was pretty straightforward. Take a class, lead a team, or brush up on software skills by a certain date and document my progress. I could trust that the environment and the daily routine would be fairly consistent.
I have trouble doing the same thing now that I’m not in that setting. Granted, I’m pretty good at going forward with blind faith, and so far it’s worked rather well for me. Over the “winter break,” I was trying to work through a few goal-setting templates and found that I have absolutely no concept of what the next year will consist of and I don’t feel that I can map it out. Goals for how to shape each day are doable, but an entire year, where so much is out of my control? I can’t do that right now. I am totally flying by the seat of my pants most days, trying to keep the house clean, the bills paid on time, dinner made, and still spending a couple hours every night getting this kid to sleep. When I have “me time,” I read or blog or paint.
Let Everything Happen by Rainer Maria Rilke:
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
Is it ok not to have big goals right now, like learning to scuba dive or doing a teacher certification training? Lol. I know it is, but I also strive for forward motion. I am so used to achieving! My 2013 goals were awesome. But for now, I am trusting that I am where I’m meant to be.
I’m rather spontaneous, so if one day I want to do something, I will definitely make it happen. Why plan it out? Just do it.
Rather than goals, this year I am forming intentions because I want to allow for some flexibility. Each of these relates back to an overarching theme of stillness, of being open to possibility, of cherishing the now. It’s funny, but my “goals” for now are the opposite of achieving. This year, I will try to find some internal calm, be ok with uncertainty, treat myself more gently. No small goals for me after all.
“The end of the year is a threshold — a passageway from the past
into the future. An opportunity to stop and listen to yourself, to
hear what your heart is really yearning for, to allow yourself to
ask for what you really need, and to find your way back home –
always to yourself.” ~ Cigdem Kobu
- Quiet Time every day – 5 minutes of pure silence and breathing
- Brave in vulnerability, stillness, uncertainty – This is my new mantra. Sitting with not knowing will be hard but will get easier and easier, I hope.
- Self-care practice – nourishing myself with little things
- Gratitude journal – Every night before bed, read the day’s portion of The Book of Awakening and write in my gratitude journal.
- Open to spirituality/calling – Notice synchronicity, feelings, etc. Read this type of books.
As always, I am so very grateful that anyone out there cares what I write here. I hope this new year will be one of meaning and adventure for each of you.
