July reading report

12 books is a lot for one month, but many of these were just so engaging that I read through them quickly. My favorite was The Measure, followed by Remarkably Bright Creatures.

Nothing monumental happened this month… we’re just enjoying the leisurely summer days. I finished some scrapbooks I’ve been wanting to complete. I’ve had a small amount of success getting Sweet Girl to read, and I’ll keep trying. We are going to have a few days at a beach soon, and what’s a beach without a beach read???

I hope your summer is going well. I can’t believe it’s already ending for us in 3 weeks!

I know the photos are not showing up for email subscribers and I’ve no idea how to correct that, but you can click the title of the post to see the web version. Here are some reading quotations I liked on Facebook, and some diamond paintings I’ve recently completed.

My little assistant doesn’t realize she gets in the way!

The Quiet Before: On the Unexpected Origins of Radical Ideas by Gal Beckerman

“…perhaps for their world-altering outcomes—but each contains an insight about what helps radical ideas come into being. We will bear down on this element in these histories, zoom in on the inkpot sitting on the writing desk of a seventeenth-century aristocrat, the steam drifting up from a printing press in 1930s Accra, the scissors and glue stick in a teenage girl’s bedroom in the 1990s. The stories are particular, but layered on top of each other, they become a sort of palimpsest through which, peeking out, we can see patterns, and even something like truths, about what allowed the most threatening, liberating concepts to grow.”

“These pre-digital forms of communication demanded patience. Because they took time to produce and time to transmit from one person to another, they slowed things down, favoring an incremental accumulation of knowledge and connection. They also lent coherence, a way for scattered ideologies and feelings to be shaped into a single compellingly new perspective. Those who joined such conversations, ones that were deliberate and perhaps more labor-intensive to produce, gained a firmer sense of identity and solidarity, which in turn freed them up to imagine how they might order the world differently.”

Please see my longer review here.

Small Fry: A Memoir by Lisa Brennan-Jobs

This was on sale for $1.99 in audiobook format so I figured, why not? As Lisa grew up, her famous father (Steve Jobs) became more and more involved in her life, though never as much as she would have liked. She lived with him for much of middle school. Lisa’s relationship with both of her parents had some major issues, but she explains well the stark contrast between her mother’s poverty and overbearing love and her father’s frugality despite his wealth and unpredictability and lack of affection.

“I began to think of him as a kind of prophet with loneliness and tragedy at the edges. Only we knew how lonely, how tragic. All light and dark. Nothing in between.”

The audiobook would have been better had it been read by Lisa herself but still, I found her “voice” authentic and her flaws very realistic.

“I see now that we were at cross purposes. For him, I was a blot on a spectacular ascent, as our story did not fit with the narrative of greatness and virtue he might have wanted for himself. My existence ruined his streak. For me, it was the opposite. The closer I was to him, the less I would feel ashamed. He was part of the world and he would accelerate me into the light.”

“Having a father, as far as I understood, felt not like being ordinary, but like being singled out. Our time together was not fluid, but stuttered forward like a flip book. How close are you supposed to be with your father? I wanted to collapse into him, to be inseparable. In his presence, I wasn’t sure how to hold my hands, how to arrange my limbs.”

Seven Kinds of People You Find in Bookshops by Shaun Bythell

Having read The Diary of a Bookseller and Confessions of a Bookseller, I thought this might be a good read too. Bythell has a curmudgeonly affectionate way of describing the (actually eight, including staff) categories of customers he’s come across in his antiquarian bookstore in Scotland.

“This isn’t about us, though, the miserable, unfortunate few who have chosen to try to sell books to make a pitiful living. It is about our customers: those wretched creatures with whom we’re forced to interact on a daily basis, and who—as I write this under coronavirus lockdown—I miss like long-lost friends. From the charming and interesting to the rude and offensive, I miss them all. Apart from the fact that without them I have literally no income, to my enormous surprise I have discovered that I miss the human interaction.

The Measure: A Novel by Nikki Erlick

Once I read the premise of this one, I had to read it asap. The entire world’s inhabitants received a box at their front door containing a string that reveals the number of years you will live. The book follows 8 individuals as they come to accept their fate, their choices and reactions, and the madness that envelops the world as a result. A compelling idea and it really led me to think about whether I’d want to know how long I have left and if that knowledge would change anything. It is a story about living deeply, but not necessarily as long as one might prefer. What is a meaningful life? Why do we Westerners pretend that we will live forever?

The Cactus: A Novel by Sarah Haywood

“If it wasn’t for the fact that I have colleagues, office life would be bearable.”

This was a quick, light-hearted read about a control freak who lightens up after resolving a family conflict, having a baby, and finding love.

“I experienced a jolt of recognition; it was nothing to do with his appearance—it was something else. The sensation was a little like opening your front door after a long period away; a feeling both that you’re re-encountering something familiar and that you’re seeing it anew.”

Maimonides by Abraham Joshua Heschel

No Jewish thinker has had a more significant impact on Jewish religious thought than Moses Maimonides (1138–1204). This biography is outstanding, especially considering that Heschel dashed it off in a couple months in his 20s! Maimonides is one of the major Jewish philosophers and is considered a leading scholar even now, a thousand years after his death. Heschel unfolds his life as a story, beginning with his formative years and progressing slowly, showing how his views and path changed over time. I found the descriptions of philosophy very readable and easy to follow. I have several passages underlined and I’m sure this book will be useful going forward as a reference.

What does it mean to be a human being? What was his account of living as a Jewish person in his times? And applicably to today’s times, what does it mean to live at a time when you disagree with the majority of political decisions being made?

I’ll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife & Motherhood by Jessi Klein

So good! Klein begins with the life-changing, identity-shifting event that is a newborn arriving into your life and continues her humorous reflections through each small stage. She sort of evokes Joseph Campbells’s The Hero’s Journey to talk about how potty changing symbolizes an identity shift and separation for her son, how to relate bad news to a child, etc. A funny chapter was about how “soul-crushingly precise” car seats must be, where an inspector had a wrench and a level and harped on the specificity of the angle to cause Klein to feel more fragile than ever before, like if a strap is accidentally twisted, all manner of calamity and potential disaster could ensue. Add in some stressful plane trips, Halloween costumes, marriage stressors, and body shape challenges (a “general thickness” that wasn’t there before), and you will laugh along in recognition.

“For most of us, it’s not a journey outward, to the most fantastic and farthest flung places, but inward, downward, to the deepest parts of your strength. To the innermost buried core of everything you are made of but didn’t know was there.”

Klein writes that until recently, the heroism of motherhood entails “swallow[ing] the pain and frustration and keep[ing] everything inside.”

Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature by Zibby Owens

Of course, I’ll read any book about books and reading. This one has been promoted so much lately that I finally threw up my hands in surrender and read it. I loved and identified with the first 3/4 of it, up until she describes falling in love soon after having her fourth child without letting the reader know that she’d divorced her husband! After that, the years she describes fly by and so much is packed into the last few chapters that they feel like an afterthought.

Owens has written other books, many magazine articles, and is the host of the podcast “Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books.” She authentically narrates growing up finding herself in her favorite characters in books and aptly describes the impact that reading had on her and her family. I loved the chapters about her college and graduate school years, all about her friendships and then new motherhood. She experienced many losses over her life and turned to books and writing to heal herself. I have read most of the books she is constantly mentioning throughout the narrative. That part started to bother me too (sort of felt like name-dropping).

“The more authors I spoke to on the podcast, the more I realized that being a writer was a trait shared by some of the most amazing people on the planet. That need to tell a story, to share, to help others, to use words as memories, as tools, to evoke emotions, reflected a lot about a person, even more than the content they wrote.”

Overall, a lovely exploration of how books, motherhood, love, and loss shape a person.

At Home in the World: Reflections on Belonging While Wandering the Globe by Tsh Oxenreider

I listened to about half of this one because the author’s voice started to get on my nerves. I admire that she and her husband took their 3 young kids and traveled around the world for 9 months. What an adventure! They travel to China, then New Zealand, Ethiopia, England, etc. I especially appreciated the side stories of her need for self-care along the way.

Woman Last Seen in Her Thirties: A Novel by Camille Pagán

“There is something about struggle that changes you in irrevocable ways. I had spent more than a year waiting to feel like myself again, but as I packed my bags the day before Jean was to return from Italy, it occurred to me that I would never again be the version of myself that I had been searching for. Instead, the separation and divorce had reduced me to the very essence of who I was.”

I got this for $1.99 on a Kindle special and it looked like an interesting storyline. Woman’s husband of 30 years divorces her and she must reevaluate her life, put herself first, etc. Rather ordinary, but somehow the characters really drew me in. I can’t say I’d want to read anything else Pagán wrote, but this was a good read.

“It was the knowledge that I no longer needed a guarantee to be happy. I hadn’t wanted to be alone. Now that I was, though, I knew that there was a whole new world out there waiting for me. And within this world happened to be a man whom I wanted to take a chance on. I wasn’t sure if it was too late to take that chance, but like Rose, I was going to have to give it a go.”

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

I listened to Sedaris read this on audio, which I highly recommend. His droll voice is the perfect way to appreciate the irony and self-deprecation in his essays. I’ve recapped some of these stories to my family, who also find him delightful.

Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont by Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Bailey

“As one gets older life becomes all take and no give. One relies on other people for the treats and things. It’s like being an infant again.”

Eccentric widows become residents of the Claremont and live their days together, one much the same as another. The reader observes Mrs. Palfrey get adjusted to life there and watches as she meets a young writer, which contrasts just the right amount with her life as to show the difficulties of aging. A humorous yet touching character study.

Remarkably Bright Creatures: A Novel by Shelby Van Pelt

SUCH A great read. I couldn’t put this down and read it in a day. I enjoyed reading about how Marcellus the octopus ingeniously connects the other main characters. It’s a unique story with charming, easily-relatable characters.

“IF THERE IS ONE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION HUMANS never exhaust, it is the status of their outdoor environment. And for as much as they discuss it, their incredulity is . . . well, incredible. That preposterous phrase: Can you believe this weather we’re having? How many times have I heard it? One thousand, nine hundred and ten, to be exact. One and a half times a day, on average. Tell me again about the intelligence of humans. They cannot even manage to comprehend predictable meteorological events. Imagine if I were to stride over to my neighbors, the sea jellies, and, while shaking my mantle with disbelief, make a comment such as: Can you believe these bubbles these tanks are putting out today? Preposterous. (Of course, this would also be preposterous because the jellies would not answer. They cannot communicate on that level. And they cannot be taught. Believe me, I have tried.) Sun, rain, clouds, fog, hail, sleet, snow. Human beings have walked their earth on two feet for hundreds of millennia. One might think they would believe it already.”

Posted in Books - Monthly Reports | Tagged | Leave a comment

How ideas become movements – a book review

The Quiet Before: On the Unexpected Origins of Radical Ideas by Gal Beckerman

This is a book that starts in the past in order to ask us to imagine a different future. It’s about how social movements form as new ideas that percolate in small, quiet spaces, unlike today’s high-speed, social media explosion that prevents deep ideas from unfolding over time. Beckerman, an editor at The New York Times Book Review, takes us on a journey from letters in 17th century France to social media today (a forum for scientist’s early discussions about Covid, identity politics leading up to Charlottesville, and the ups and downs of the Black Lives Matter movement). According to Beckerman, the incubation of radical new ideas needs certain conditions: a tight space, passionate dialogue, and freedom to work toward a common aim. His book is well-written and a delight to read. I found that I was learning about events in my own lifetime that I didn’t even know about.

I found the book relevant considering the social disconnection we’ve experienced lately with the pandemic. The medium we use for conversation (letter-writing, petitions, manifestos, newspapers, zines) molds the kinds of conversations we can have, and even sets the boundaries of our thinking. Transitioning from oral to written to electronic culture “brought along a shift in the way human beings processed reality.” We have moved toward the internet and social media, with online mediums (Facebook, Discord, twitter DM’s, email chains, and hashtags) that hinder authentic transformational movements.

He begins with a profile of a man in 1635 France who connected Europe’s greatest minds through letters (“thoughts in process”) in order to document an eclipse from various locations on earth. He also attempted to calculate longitude and the length of the Mediterranean by having many people stare up at the sky on the same night. “For Peiresc, letters were unites of intellectual exchange. Sitting in his study like a contented spider in the middle of an expansive web, he wrote and dictated about ten a day. They were also his only legacy… when he died, he left behind 100,000 pieces of paper in the form of dispatches, memoranda, and reading notes, which represented his life’s work.” Ultimately, the very slow movement of letters at the time led to many unsuccessful attempts at scientific breakthroughs.

“Letters turned out to be quite useful in this conversion process. The medium was a conduit for slow thinking. Letters acted like oil in the gears of idea production: the throat-clearing pleasantries, the lines upon lines where a mind could wander, an informality that didn’t demand definitiveness yet gave space for argument to build lightly. These were the qualities that made letters so critical to the community of proto-scientists. But they also worked well for introducing a new worldview. The ruminative aspect of letters, the embedded patience of them, avoided what might otherwise feel like the locked-horn confrontation of one system of truth trying to overtake another.”

Beckerman then takes us to 1839 Manchester and the very first petition circulated to give commoners more rights, ultimately uniting the populace and leading to many more petitions and reform bills granting rights to the working class.

Chapter 4 describes an African independent newspaper writer and eventual owner whose ideas sparked radical change over 25 years, leading up to Nigeria’s independence from Britain. Chapter 6 is about independent zines in the 1990s that caused cohesion for several women’s rights issues.

There’s a chapter on the first use of cyberspace to form a citizen community called the WELL. Managing this new community is a challenge in itself (“how they were built and how they were managed would determine how useful they could actually be and for what“) and it was ultimately overtaken by one of its users, who began a profitable version called America Online.

“Their ability to converse in this way mesmerized them as they watched the flickering green letters on a black screen accumulate, expressing personality, wit, genuine friendship, affinity for the same eccentric hobbies. It led to some big dreaming about what this space that was no real physical space at all—cyberspace—could be for, what it could achieve, what capacities it could offer its users, whether it had the ability as a medium to improve on all those petitions and local newspapers and manifestos of the past.”

“… in the same way that a car was never really just a faster horse, talking online was not just a virtual café. No metaphor could really grasp what it was. And yet metaphor is perhaps the WELL’s greatest legacy.”

Chapter 7: Cairo in 2011 and the Arab Spring:

“Social media never made it easier. It was only ever able to point them back to Tahrir Square, the tried-and-true method. When the moment clearly called for protest—when they demanded Mubarak be put on trial, or when the Justice Ministry proposed a law banning all demonstrations—they knew what to do. They could zero in on a point of outrage and motivate people to gather around it. It was as if social media had replaced their revolutionary project with a single instinct. Their greatest strength was the ability to resuscitate the magic and power of Tahrir, to pull off a millionya, a million-man march. But it was becoming a limited tool, a lever turned crutch. And while the activists did regularly return to the square, enamored with their own ability to quiet all the voices on Facebook for a day or two, the more politically savvy and deeply connected forces in the country, like the Muslim Brotherhood, did what they had long known how to do: set an agenda and impose order in their ranks. The revolutionaries never got quite organized enough.”

“But Ghonim (Wael Ghonimn, author of 2012 book Revolution 2.0) now treated Facebook like a spurned lover. “The Arab Spring revealed social media’s greatest potential, but it also exposed its greatest shortcomings,” he said from the stage in Geneva. Facebook, he saw, was indeed a tool, but it was designed with a specific purpose, one that hadn’t suited the needs of his vanguard. On the WELL, even when the conversation involved only a couple thousand people and the stakes were much, much lower than replacing an entrenched regime, a great many guardrails were needed to keep it a productive space, a home for talk that could build and not just destroy. What happened when you scaled those numbers up into the millions, removed those guardrails, the guiding moderators, and then introduced algorithms that kept people on the platform longer by elevating the loudest, most emotional voices? What you got was an incredible amplification system that also proved extremely ineffective at allowing people to focus, to organize their thoughts, to become ideologically coherent, to strategize, to pick leaders, and to refine a message.”

Now we come to Charlottesville in 2017, where alt-right white supremacists rebranded themselves on the online platform Discord. Their private discussions there they debated their differences and worked them out and get stronger. A group that infiltrated their chats from June to August revealed that their talk resembled the WELL more than a social media platform since it was about huddling together and coming to consensus.

My favorite chapter of this book was about the early scientific community’s discussions about monitoring and analyzing data from Covid in February and March of 2020, before the US had a single case. This took place via emails among public health officials and scientists, a group they called Red Dawn. “…doing it together, in addition to making them more productive, allowed them to feel as though they weren’t alone in their total commitment to science. The email chain provided the conditions for this feeling, for this work.”

“Red Dawn was a sanctuary at a moment of confusion and dread—a place to talk honestly and away from the public, to prepare a strategy, a battle plan… Other similar groups formed and became a place to talk honestly and away from the public, to prepare a strategy, a battle plan… In the absence of much official guidance or a national plan, these private networks activated like new radio frequencies, suddenly crackling with concern and advice… The quiet felt necessary and useful because, just as for the Red Dawn participants, so much was unsure and they needed a way to develop their thinking.”

A network of New York City doctors formed a private group “to band together even more tightly so they could coordinate their messaging.” One group was called the Brain Trust. “This is where we would develop a strategy for all the prime-time cable news programs so that we could tell people the truth at a time when the government was downplaying the virus.”

“The scientific method is about being wrong so that adjustments can be made. It’s about tweaking a hypothesis by a few degrees. And the only way, many of these experts told me, to respect that process, while also providing useful information to the public, was to come together, like the ER doctors in their DM groups, in a closed network with people they trusted.

“In those first months of the pandemic, science was happening very publicly. Starting in the 1990s, in the field of physics, researchers in an increasing number of fields had been posting their papers to special online servers before they went through the peer-review process, which could take months. The pressures of a pandemic and the need to rapidly share new information made it even more necessary for research to get out before undergoing the strict vetting of a top-tier journal. And prestige publications like Science and Nature didn’t want to look as if they were holding back important findings, so even they began asking their contributors to post on these online repositories first to give the public and other scientists immediate access. And still it didn’t seem quick enough—there could be a week’s lag time after submitting—so some scientists were just sharing their papers directly on Twitter. This is how, on February 29, the first sequencing of a COVID-19 genome in the United States came to be presented to the world: as a tweet.

The final chapter of this book is about the Black Lives Matter movement. After many years of failing to get the hashtag to take off, the three founders realized that they were operating from crisis point to crisis point. Two years of nonstop protesting in Minneapolis had led to very little change; activism would swell and then subside, and in spite of all this expended energy, their objectives would come to seem too small in the face of more foundational problems.

A group called the Dream Defenders began to really connect with their community. They decided to disconnect from online interactions for several months. “They started listening. And what they heard surprised them. For one thing, as Rachel went door-to-door to talk to people in the poorer neighborhoods of Miami, she quickly found that the dream of defunding or abolishing the police was not a shared one.the work would have to be local and would have to start with showing people there was another way. They had to actively collect and build a constituency, as opposed to waiting for a moment of outrage.

“Phillip, the Dream Defenders founder, had a similar insight. For him, the experience of the Blackout had been a lesson in the varieties of power. Borrowing a concept from Joseph Nye, the political scientist, he now came to understand social media as a form of ‘soft power,”’a force that shapes culture through argument and story. But there was also ‘hard power,’ which Nye, in assessing the capacity of different nation-states, characterized as military and economic might. For movements, hard power was the ability to lobby for legislation, elect sympathetic political leaders, get resources allocated toward your cause. Social media, Phillip now saw more clearly, was good at building soft power. But when it came to hard power, it could do very little.

“Phillip, once he emerged from the Blackout in early 2016, even saw the advantage of cultivating a more secluded space for conversation and planning. Social media was about ‘followship and diffusion of responsibility.’ Real leadership would come off-line.”

* * *

We need a table where we can come together and share ideas.

Social movements are ultimately “limited in their actions and their ability to evolve and adapt because they rely on tools that only deal in binaries. When you can discern shades of difference, new strategies and alliances open up.”

“You have certain experiences in this world, they produce certain desires, those desires reproduce the world. Our reality today just keeps reproducing itself. If you can create different experiences that manifest different desires, then it’s possible that those will lead to the production of different worlds.”

“Radical change—change that strips off the stucco and gets to the girders, that offers a chance to see ourselves and our relationship to nature or to others in new ways—doesn’t start with yelling. It starts with deliberation, a tempo that increases, a volume set first at a whisper. How else can you begin to picture what doesn’t yet exist?

“… the internet, this network of networks, is where we live our lives in the twenty-first century. It has almost completely annihilated all those other modes of communication. So we need to ensure the possibility of those spaces apart, especially in a flattened, too-loud world that perceives dark corners only as dangerous. They are where the first inflections of progress can—and almost always do—occur. Change seems hard to conceive of otherwise. Because it is the act of entering into those closed or semi-closed circles that alters identity in a fundamental way. Facing that gray unending slab of reality seems less lonely, and chipping away at it less foolish. You become something else: a person at a table.”

Posted in Books | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

June reading

I find it difficult to believe that June is already over! Sweet Girl finished 7th grade and went to summer camp, only to return home after 2 weeks having contracted Covid. After a few days of misery and fever, she is now all better.

I spent those days while she was away catching up with Mr. B, taking some classes, and enjoying the quiet and space. I felt good that I finally organized all the little packets of leftover diamond painting beads into a binder.

The bead organizer and the little gal who kept getting in the way
Recently completed

I have a few tasks I hope to complete in July: reorganizing my bookshelves, creating a scrapbook of SG’s bat mitzvah, going through emails, among others. We’ll see if that happens!

OK. On to the books!

Summer Hours at the Robbers Library by Sue Halpern

This is a quick read and an engaging story about people who come together for various reasons in a small town library and help each other heal from various life events.

“Listen Kit, Dr. Bondhi said to her, what you’ve got to understand is that you didn’t lose your life. You lost the life you thought you were living and those are two different things. You are alive. It may not feel like it, but you are and part of being alive means experiencing loss. We lose things everyday. I’m not talking about eyeglasses (yes we lose those too). I mean things like eyesight. Eyesight diminishes over time. Hair falls out. That’s natural. It’s so natural that we chalk it up to inevitability, but that’s loss. Loss is inevitable. It comes in many sizes. Yours is huge, don’t think I’m discounting it, but the smaller everyday losses help us deal with the big ones. It’s muscle memory and the fact that you are in so much pain is actually a good sign. I’d be worried if you were numb. It tells me that you are alive.”

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

I don’t know why I read this one… it just kept appearing in ads and emails. It was an engaging story about two rival editors who end up together.

People Love Dead Jews: Reports from a Haunted Present by Dara Horn

Horn finds that her value of Judaism if far different from how non-Jews think of it. “What Jewish identity meant to those people, it turned out, was simply a state of non-being: not being Christian or Muslim or whatever else other people apparently were (in Britain, for instance, more people identify as Jedis than as Jews), being alienated, being marginalized, or best of all, being dead.” She says that she “had mistaken the enormous public interest in past Jewish suffering for a sign of respect for living Jews. I was very wrong.”

So she goes on to unravel and “articulate the endless unspoken ways in which the popular obsession with dead Jews, even in its most apparently benign and civic-minded forms, is a profound affront to human dignity.”

“Jewish Heritage Sites” is a much better name than “Property Seized from Dead or Expelled Jews.” Horn tells about the fascination with Anne Frank, why people believe Jewish family names were changed at Ellis Island and what happened instead, the history of Harbin, China, and much more. We even get to listen in on her discussion with her 10-year-old son about Shylock in The Merchant of Venice.

“The lethal attacks on American Jews in recent years have been so shocking and disorienting not merely because of their sheer violent horror, but because they contradict the story American Jews have told themselves for generations, which is that America has never been a place where antisemitism affected anyone’s life. We don’t simply prefer this founding legend. We need it. The story is more important than the history, because the story is the device that makes meaning.”

“Since ancient times, in every place they have ever lived, Jews have represented the frightening prospect of freedom. As long as Jews existed in any society, there was evidence that it in fact wasn’t necessary to believe what everyone else believed, that those who disagreed with their neighbors could survive and even flourish against all odds. The Jews’ continued distinctiveness, despite overwhelming pressure to become like everyone else, demonstrated their enormous effort to cultivate that freedom: devotion to law and story, deep literacy, and an absolute obsessiveness about consciously transmitting those values between generations. The existence of Jews in any society is a reminder that freedom is possible, but only with responsibility—and that freedom without responsibility is no freedom at all.”

“But these questions fall short by assuming that the perpetrators were irrelevant. As long as we are questioning the choices that were made, shouldn’t we be considering the possibility of the Holocaust not happening at all? If someone was in a position to choose whether to save person A or person B, shouldn’t whole societies have been in the position to reject the notion of genocide altogether? Why didn’t everyone become Denmark?”

“The Holocaust didn’t happen because of a lack of love. It happened because entire societies abdicated responsibility for their own problems, and instead blamed them on the people who represented—have always represented, since they first introduced the idea of commandedness to the world—the thing they were most afraid of: responsibility.”

The Music Shop: A Novel by Rachel Joyce

“Frank could not play music. He could not read a score. He had no practical knowledge whatsoever, but when he sat in front of a customer and truly listened, he heard a kind of song. He wasn’t talking a full-blown symphony. It would have been a few notes at the most, a strain. It didn’t happen all the time. Only when he let go of being Frank and inhabited a space that was more in the middle.”

Frank connects people with the song they most need to hear. This is a love story about a woman who comes into his shop and ultimately (like over decades!) helps him heal from very old wounds. It’s a lovely, if quirky, quick read with many enjoyable characters.

“Jazz was about the spaces between notes. It was about what happened when you listened to the thing inside you, the gaps and the cracks, because that was where life really happened, if you were brave enough to free fall.”

If All the Seas Were Ink: A Memoir by Ilana Kurshan

Tens of thousands of Jews around the world learn daf yomi, and they are all literally on the same page. This is because daf yomi is not just about learning a page of Talmud a day. It’s about learning a specific page, the same page that everyone else is learning, following a schedule that was fixed in 1923 when Rabbi Meir Shapiro of the Lublin Yeshiva first conceived of the program. Kurshan writes about her life in the context of her regular Talmud study.

Please see my review of this book here.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Books, Books - Monthly Reports | Tagged | Leave a comment

The longest-running Jewish book club: a page a day

Try to stay with me here… this is ultimately a book review of Ilana Kurshan’s beautiful memoir, If All the Seas Were Ink. In her book, Kurshan follows the order of the Talmud as she describes how it relates to her personal life, revealing stories about her relationships, work life, and feelings about life in Jerusalem.

On January 5, 2020, I joined tens of thousands of others around the world embarking on a 7.5 year cycle of reading a double-sided page of Talmud each day. The Talmud is the textual record of generations of rabbinic debate about law, philosophy, and biblical interpretation, compiled between the 3rd and 8th centuries and structured as commentary on the Mishnah with stories interwoven. There are two versions: the more commonly studied Babylonian Talmud was compiled in present-day Iraq and the Jerusalem Talmud in Israel.

The 2711 pages of the Babylonian Talmud is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law and theology. It is a record of rabbinic legal conversations with many unresolved questions, traditionally passed down orally until it was recorded in writing. This is a good background teaching about it. It consists of multigenerational conversations among the rabbis of the first few centuries, like what to do if your camel knocks over a candle and sets a store on fire to proper behavior in all aspects of life.

In 1923, a rabbi in Poland, Meir Shapiro, proposed a universal system of the study of all 37 major tractates as a way to unify the Jewish people and literally be on the same page everyone else is learning. “Daf Yomi” literally means “daily page.

The trick, I’m finding, to keeping up with the study is to find a way that works for you of incorporating it into your daily routine. I get an email every morning describing the texts and the most important aspects of the page in a rather humorous way, which I read while having my coffee. I also listen to a 5-minute podcast about the page, usually in the car. If I miss a day, I catch up the next day by reading both.

There are 6 “orders,” and we just finished the second (holidays) and began the third one (family law) about four months ago (120 days ago, to be precise).

Here’s a casual Q&A about the Daf Yomi process, written by Ilana Kurshan. As she writes there, “every page connects to conversations on other pages, and so once you have started learning, it’s almost impossible to stop.” Some days are rather dull, and others connect in surprising ways to something I’m learning about now or a current event in the news.

All this is background so I can tell you about Kurshan’s beautiful and touching 2017 memoir!

With personal stories about finding her place in marriage and her professional and spiritual life, Kurshan follows the orders of the Talmud tractates and connects what she learned to what her life was like then. She starts at age 27, newly divorced and living in Israel. She basically describes several years of learning and growth, mourning and discovery, romance and children.

I admire the way she draws parallels from the text into her life, drawing from her experiences of sadness, fear, and joy.

More important, I am in two classes right now, learning about both the life of Maimonides and his philosophy of engaging with the Torah, as well as a Mussar text describing how each person engages distinctly with it, creating their own internalization of what is learned. This memoir is a living example of this idea. “It is a text for those who are living the questions rather than those who have found the answers.”

“Looking back now, I see that these journal entries unfolded as a record not just of my learning but also of my life, drawing from deep wells of sadness and fear and, with time, from overflowing fountains of joy. I began learning as a divorced woman living alone in Jerusalem, with no idea of what the future might hold. It took me a while—quite a few tractates—before I found my stride. (And yes, like T. S. Eliot’s J. Alfred Prufrock, who measured out his life in coffee spoons, I have come to measure out mine in tractates, referring to periods in my life by what I was up to in the Talmud.)”

Although Omri and I learned much Torah together, we were not learning the same Torah. It is impossible for any two people to learn the exact same Torah, because the moment someone internalizes what he or she has learned, that learning begins to assume his or her shape. In this sense, the vessel and the contents are inherently interrelated.

There are several ways to study Torah, but for the most impact, you need to be vulnerable and allow the words to resonate within yourself, and also allow yourself to illuminate the text.

As Kurstan begins life with her new husband, she is reading about the Temple and the sacred spaces within, yet she likens it to how they learn to share space in their new marraige “—how to make room for another person, and how to let another person into your space.” Or the division of labor in the Temple can be a springboard for Kurstan to tell us about negotiating the same within her life.

When she learned she was pregnant, she was studying a passage in Niddah that teaches that “all is in the hands of heaven except the fear of heaven.” There is nothing like pregnancy to remind us how little is in our control. And when studying Berachot (Blessings), Kurstan reflects that writing about prayer is much easier for her than actually praying. It’s difficult to make space for regular prayer with a newborn.

“Whereas Torah study is about taking the unfamiliar—the next page of Talmud, a new midrash, a new interpretation—and internalizing it until it becomes familiar, prayer is about taking the familiar—the same words we say day after day—and saying them with such concentration and fervor that it is as if we are renewing each day the miracle of their creation… Prayer is about standing still and looking inward.”

Kurstan was also an English major and now works in publishing and translating, so interspersed throughout her book are literary references that had me swooning in pleasure. She memorizes poetry on her daily walks; she sets aside time daily to read; her writing flows with metaphor.

She ends her memoir with this: “Scholars of Talmud consider how the text is informed and often even changed by its contexts; the same is true, perhaps, of the personal contexts in which I have encountered these passages. The text seems to change with each encounter because it resonates in new ways, and I, in turn, am transformed by each encounter.”

Every point of entry is also a point of exit, and every end is also a beginning. This is why graduation ceremonies are called “commencement,” and this is why as soon as one finishes reading the Torah or studying the Talmud, it is traditional to begin immediately again.

What I love about Daf Yomi and even in reading about someone else studying Talmud is that there is always more to know. These rabbis’ discussions that take place over many hundreds of years is a sacred dialogue. I can imagine coming back to each page again and again and finding something new inside. The text is not different, but I am different each time.

Posted in Books | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Reflections

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
— Rumi

It has been five days since we took our Sweet Girl to summer camp, and most of those days I have been tied to my computer in a virtual learning retreat – wonderful and engaging and thought-provoking, but also heavy and intense. The topic? Who Is God and Why It Matters. No small subject.

For months, I have felt like I’m going through my days with experiences and thoughts piling up, waiting for more time so that I could unpack them, find the nuggets of inspiration or ideas and then act on those. I have been thinking of these three weeks as my opportunity to slow down and to do this unpacking of memories.

I want to recall the feeling of certain moments, the energy in the air, and what I was feeling and experiencing during the rush of time. I want to unwrap these moments and truly savor them.

Life goes quickly. When I don’t allow myself time for reflection every day, I risk losing the moments I hope to return to. Most of my moments and my days are filled with goodness, learning, and positive emotion. There is so much input though… classes and reading and podcasts and world news… that I need to allow myself time to take it all in and let it settle there. I almost always feel like I’m in catch-up mode. (Like today – the classes are finished but I’m going through an email inbox of over 100 small tasks.)

One such experience: My daughter and I were laying in the dark in a hotel room last weekend, the night before camp began. She talked to me about her favorite memories from previous years at camp and what she was most excited about for this year. There were small worries interspersed in there, quickly covered up by more excitement. “What if I miss you?” “What if I need you?” I reassured her that we are always linked together and that she could talk to me in her head and imagine what I’d say.

Coming back to this moment, it strikes me that she could probably do this for a lot of things. When we parents feel a strong need to start lecturing our kids about the moral thing to do, the proper way to act, or a wrongness in behavior, our kids already know what we’re going to say. That is why they immediately roll their eyes and tune us out. They know. They are watching us and learning from us, even when we are not consciously modeling what we hope they will learn.

I always think that there is so much remaining for us to teach her, but maybe our job is to give her abundant love and support and space to grow and learn for herself. And maybe many small talks are far better than a few longer ones. I know that when SG comes to me with a question, that is when I have her attention, and that is when she is most receptive to learning an important lesson. And I always couch my answers in understanding, curiosity, and love.

I have been quite preoccupied lately with worries and fears for SG’s future. How can I get her to read more? Does she understand what is truly important and what is merely superficial? When will she start caring about making a difference in other people’s lives? Does she understand how to work hard for something she wants? What do I do about limiting all this technology she is immersed in?

Mr. B is great at discovering SG’s interests and making them his own. She is interested in football and hockey, so they now watch all the games together and talk about sports often. The same with technology and music. He encourages her interests and makes them something they can do together. I don’t think I’ve been as good at aligning my own interests with hers, mainly because her interests lately are on makeup, shopping, and expensive athleisure clothes. But I’ll keep my eye out for other interests of hers.

That conversation in the dark was definitely a time to treasure, and one good thing is that I recognized it in the moment. Mainly I listened, but I also reassured and encouraged. So I think I’m on the right track. Now I will focus on enjoying the grand adventure of parenting a teenage girl and try to have fun with it where I can.

Posted in Motherhood | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Israel: the ultimate Us vs. Them

Women praying at the Kotel, Jerusalem – March 2020

The Palestinian conflict is one of the most complicated in the world. I have so much to say about it that I’ve decided not to say much at all. My personal love for Israel is historical and mystical. It has little to do with the State of Israel today. To me, the idea of Israel brings forth an aspiration of Oneness for the world. It is sanctified space for the Jewish People; it is where we have come from and it’s a vision of where we are headed; it radiates with pure potential for coming closer to G-d, of uniting heaven and earth and transcending struggle. The land, Eretz Yisrael, is part of the collective Jewish Soul.

And yet, 75 years ago (and for hundreds of years), people were living in parts of this land successfully and happily. I have to believe that the hundreds of thousands of refugees who settled there truly believed it was “a land without a people for a people without a land” and they would not have immigrated to Israel in such numbers, would not have literally displaced so many families from their beautiful homes, had they known this. (I realize there are competing narratives about this fact.)

I have much more to learn and understand, but I started with these two books. Each of them tells both sides of the history of the founding of the State and events that unfolded afterwards. I wanted to learn more than stereotypes.

Just to be transparent, and I know this is controversial, I believe that both Israelis and Arabs have equal rights as well as equal responsibility for the ongoing conflict. I think some of Israel’s policies and past decisions are unjust, and I’m only now learning about more of those human rights violations from its history. And yet, people who toss around words like “apartheid” or “colonialism” are using this current situation as yet another excuse to practice antisemitism. People are free to disagree with government practices and decisions, as I do often, but to call for the end of existence of Israel at this point is unethical.

Is anyone saying that China shouldn’t exist? I am concerned about abuses happening right now in the Xinjiang region of China, but I haven’t heard anyone say that China doesn’t have the right to exist. Same for Iran, or Saudi Arabia. Amnesty International reports that in 2021, new and unresolved conflicts erupted or persisted in Afghanistan, Burkina Faso, Ethiopia, Israel and the Occupied Palestinian Territories, Libya, Myanmar and Yemen, with warring parties violating international human rights and humanitarian law. Of all of these, I’ve only seen Israel in the news. (And yes, I think Israelis are wrongfully occupying Palestinian space, which further escalates the conflict.)

I see Israel as a country in its infancy still, trying to be a liberal democracy in a region where that is rare.

Can We Talk About Israel? A Guide for the Curious, Confused, and Conflicted by Daniel Sokatch

Sokatch believes the conflict is a struggle between two victimized peoples with legitimate claims to the land. “It is a conflict about land, but also about memory and legitimacy, about the right to exist, and also about the right to self-determination. It is about survival and about justice. It is about competing narratives understood by their adherents to be singularly true.”

This is a very thorough yet casually-worded overview of history and how to understand today’s issues. I truly felt as if I were meeting a friend for coffee who could tell me all about what’s going on, starting with the Zionist concept in the 1860s, World War I and the British Mandate, the events of 1947-49, and the many conflicts and peace attempts since. Part II of Sokatch’s book is about the settlements, how a map can be a political tool, the American Jewish community and it’s disillusionment with Israel’s current right-wing policies, and some other current issues.

“At times, the sheer weight of the history there, the intensity of the conflict, and the adamancy of the attitudes can make a person pessimistic about the potential for a just and peaceful future for Israel and Palestine.”

He ends with stories of people who are trying to heal wounds, build bridges, and create a better future for everyone. This is an excellent and unbiased telling of the unfolding of events as experienced by both peoples.

The Lemon Tree: An Arab, A Jew, and the Heart of the Middle East by Sandy Tolan

Tolan’s book is nonfiction but reads as a novel would. I learned quite a bit of fact and context, but the single best aspect of this book is that it takes a gigantic issue and narrows it down to two individuals, telling their family stories in a personal and dignified way. These two families try to acknowledge one another’s pain and histories. I found this book remarkable and enlightening.

The book description from Amazon: “In 1967, Bashir Khairi, a twenty-five-year-old Palestinian, journeyed into Israel with the goal of seeing the beloved stone house with the lemon tree behind it that he and his family had fled nineteen years earlier. To his surprise, when he found the house he was greeted by Dalia Eshkenazi Landau, a nineteen-year-old Israeli college student, whose family left fled Europe for Israel following the Holocaust. On the stoop of their shared home, Dalia and Bashir began a rare friendship, forged in the aftermath of war and tested over the next half century in ways that neither could imagine on that summer day in 1967. Sandy Tolan brings the Israeli-Palestinian conflict down to its most human level, demonstrating that even amid the bleakest political realities there exist stories of hope and transformation.”

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Posted in Books | Tagged , | Leave a comment