Do you ever feel like you’re dimming your inner light in order to blend in? I felt that way a lot growing up, beginning in middle school and going forward until college. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to hide anything; it was more that I wanted to fit in with everyone else. Ironically, I probably would have fit in far better if I had let my unique “me-ness” shine brighter, but I didn’t really have that perspective then. Instead, I was quiet, hesitant, and anxious.
There is a sacredness to who we are that’s easy to overlook. But if we don’t fully acknowledge our gifts and say a huge “Yes!” to sharing ourselves with the people around us, then we are not only dimming our own light, but the lights of those around us. Sometimes when something feels a bit “off,” it’s because you are out of alignment with your true nature.
Think about what stories you tell yourself about who you are. Look back and think of how other people have labeled you and how you’ve interpreted their intentions. For example, almost every high school and camp yearbook comment from friends includes the word “sweet” about me, which was intended to be nice. I felt misunderstood by that word. Sure, I was amiable, smart, and quiet, but I was also sad, lonely, and angry. “Sweet” doesn’t begin to describe me, and so I knew that none of those people had seen the real me.
Some family members used to remark that I was “weird,” a harsh judgmental word that I carried with me for at least 20 years. I (and they) had no context or knowledge of how creative or artistic people think. I now know that the intense emotions and introverted tendencies that a Highly Sensitive Person has are normal and can even be an asset.
What I’m trying to get across here is a lesson I learned in Becky’s Written Anew class in February and something that is becoming more and more clear to me as the days unfold. As Becky taught, “You have the power within you to decide who you choose to be (or not be), what you choose to do (or not do), and how you choose to live. This is your invitation to define who you are, what you stand for, and how you choose to live.”
She guided the class toward uncovering our true selves. She taught me ways to let go of past messages and be free to move toward what is right for me. “The heart of who you are is already within. There have been moments of shining your true light, of illuminating the lives of others, by sharing your inherent loveliness.”
The things I loved as a young child are the things I’m finding myself drawn to again now… soulful singing, organizing, learning from a place of curiosity, nurturing and mothering, artistic creating, reading, watching things grow, fostering group intimacy.
For me, I am learning that my idealistic tendencies and dreams are a huge gift. I learned in the INFJ Business course that a rare 1% of our global population are INFJs. That is nuts! Imagining what could be and focusing on potential is a valuable asset in a world that is quite negative. Being passionate and intense also seem to be assets.
More and more, I am learning that I don’t have to change who I am. I need to slow down in order to grow more into who I truly am. I need to do things that feed my heart, and that means more stillness, reading, and art time. I need to stop holding back and allow myself to shine.
“Written Anew” taught me to value who I am and the gifts I’ve been given. It helped me identify what I most want to let go of and what I am happy to carry forward. Most significantly, the course helped me identify what it is I desire my life to be and choose to live from that place, creating only joy and peacefulness going forward. I most wish to spread kindness, love, and inspiration to others. I ended the class with the promise to myself that I will take care of my body and my spirit, focus on the present moment more often, and practice acts of loving kindness. I aim to live in alignment with my desires.
Before this course, I didn’t feel that sacred light surrounding me. Becky has taught me in the most gentle way that I am loved and protected and that I have my own inner guidance to tune into. I learned that quieting the voices of fear and judgement, slowing way down and finding quiet in my day, and taking care of myself will take me there. She helped me claim my natural gifts and step into the power that is already within me, which I know is what’s helping me shine my unique light for my blog readers, my husband and sweet daughter, and anyone I come into contact with.
Since taking this class, smiles and joy have bubbled up to the surface that I didn’t even know were there. I find that I’m living my best self much more often. I am compassionate and forgiving, far less judgmental and way more patient. And so while I agree wholeheartedly with Becky that the world needs you to shine your true self brightly and authentically, I would add that YOU need you to do that as well. Imagine how much lighter you will feel once you’ve jumped into such a life.
I had coffee recently with a girlfriend who I’ve known since before we were born (like our mothers knew each other when they were pregnant). She said she had been feeling like she doesn’t know where all the years have gone and that it feels far too late to do something different like change careers.
Even though I do not understand how time seems to be speeding up as I get older, I don’t feel it’s too late for anything, except physically being younger, at least in this lifetime. I still feel that I can learn anything, travel anywhere, and be anything I wish to become. We impose those limits on ourselves. If a 99-year-old can graduate from college and if 70-year-olds can begin new careers, surely 39 is not too late to learn to speak Italian or to take up tap dancing. 🙂
It’s birthday time and I’m celebrating being me. Since there is absolutely nobody else on the planet who is exactly my brand of crazy, I choose to embrace who I am and who I choose to become. I wish the same for you… celebrate who you are today and know that you have the power to change how you see yourself, to change your story and become whoever you wish to be.
