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Photo Friday: May flower challenge

Posted on May 18, 2012 by Naomi

Linking up today to my friend Lori at Lori Moon Studio and her photo a day challenge.

Posted in Photo Friday | Tagged flowers, hibiscus, macrophotography, wildflowers | 6 Comments

What can reasonably be accomplished in 2.5 hours?

Posted on May 16, 2012 by Naomi

Every other morning when I am walking out of preschool after dropping my daughter in her classroom, I have a little lift in my step. It’s practically a skip. After the morning routine and the rush of getting out the door (difficult no matter how much I pre-plan), I’m already exhausted. I am very protective of my free time. 2.5 hours is a big chuck of time, right?

Here’s what’s on my to-do list today (way too much for one little morning): answer e-mails, pay bills, edit pictures, vacuum out crumbs/food from car, post items to sell on mom forum, return clothes via mail order, sort through coupons for after-school Target run, finish Friday’s blog post, put away morning/evening clutter, make bed, move laundry to drier, feed kitties, scoop the litter boxes, fix sprinkler schedule, renew library books online, buy a baby gift for hubby’s coworker, check Mint and categorize expenses from last two weeks, order pictures for a scrapbook page for a friend. Oh… and RELAX. Ha! I’d like to get a mani/pedi but that takes at least an hour and I can’t sacrifice that time today. I know I won’t accomplish all these things and yet my list will be just as long in two days when I have another break.

This doesn’t include the things I can accomplish with my daughter, like scheduling a haircut (haven’t had one since August!), watering plants and buying flowers for the front beds and unloading the dishwasher-type stuff (anything non-computer). Pathetic, isn’t it??? Someday it’ll be better. I’ll actually be able to visit with friends and while away a morning just reading.

I was telling a friend, who is moving, that I still don’t have my house organized and she asked why I didn’t unpack it the way I wanted it 6 months ago. I can only laugh. I literally don’t have a spare moment. My hubby says I don’t use this free time correctly to get the most benefit from it, but if I did spend the time relaxing, the house would literally fall apart. We have been known to literally run out of clean undies and be charged fees for late bill payments when I’m on one of my “I’m going to change this” kicks. I’ve also been asked recently from a friend (sans kiddos) what it is I do all day. It’s amazing how you can fill an entire three years with errands and cleaning up toys and getting snacks/meals/drinks, music class, play dates, birthday presents, school fundraisers, and trying to figure out our HSA plan!

Dude, I was an event planner! I coordinated many executives’ schedules! Surely I can find a way to clean the kitty throw up off the floor before it sits there for days on end. (OK, so I covered it with a paper towel! Who has time?!) Or get to the grocery store… or return library books on time.

It feels like my heartbeat is constantly at a high pace. And I am always behind, trying to do too much. Some famous person said “stress is trying to do two things at once” and it is so true. But the bathrooms need toilet paper and the cats need food and still my daughter needs ME. It seems that I’m always saying to her, “one second… just need to… and then I’m coming.”

This is why about once a month I completely collapse in a heap of tears and exhaustion and my husband thinks I need to be committed. (ha!) I just lose patience when it all catches up to me and my daughter is whiney and demanding and we have nothing for dinner because I didn’t plan ahead and there’s no hope in sight for her sleeping in her own room and I haven’t had a few hours alone with my husband in months now, let alone time for myself, and I am just done. Luckily just about every mother I know has days like this too so I know I’m not alone. And I am happy, yes I am. I’m smiling and laughing most days.

Now back to that to-do list…

Does it seem to you that your days are rush rush RUSH too?

Posted in Motherhood, Photography | Tagged Time management | 7 Comments

Kids make terrible pets

Posted on May 14, 2012 by Naomi

I saw this at a bookstore recently and laughed out loud.

Happy belated Mother’s (you’re doing the most amazing work on the planet) Day to you all. I wanted to pass along the two articles below. They might just be especially useful to you if two nights ago you stomped from the room after spending two hours trying to get your little girl to go to sleep, enduring wiggles and excuses and stating things like, “This is your last chance,” and then you started screaming, “I just can’t take it anymore!!!” scaring two kitties and one bewildered husband trying to watch a movie. Just in case.

OK that was me. I’ve been having a rough go of it lately and even tried returning my daughter at the customer service counter of Target. Just kidding. Sort of.

Meagan Francis on looking for the positive parts of motherhood: “Being a good mom means… you’re able to roll with the punches and move on from the difficult days feeling satisfied with your life.”

25 Self-care Tips for the Body & Soul: “Stop trying to wade upstream at high tide.” “Breathe deep.” “You are enough.”

“You are changing the world, one child at a time. I know that what you do often seems invisible. I know that your child has no idea how much sacrifice is required. I know that you don’t get the recognition you deserve. But every act of love makes the world a better place and has a ripple effect.

“Devotion, as parents know, is walking the floor at 2am holding a screaming baby with an ear infection. Devotion is taking a deep breath and re-centering yourself when any reasonable person would scream. Devotion is forcing yourself into the kitchen to make your kids dinner after a long day, when all you really want is to curl up on the couch and go to sleep. Devotion is biting your tongue so often you get a piercing. Devotion is taking off your jacket on a freezing night to tuck it around a sleeping child in the back seat of the car. The pay, however, makes everything worth it. Mothers get paid in pure love.” ~ Dr. Laura Markham

Posted in Motherhood, Photography, Quotations | Tagged aha parenting, Dr. Laura Markham, gentle living, meagan francis, Mothers Day, parenting, she knows parenting | 2 Comments

Photo Friday: state of the garden

Posted on May 11, 2012 by Naomi

“To own a bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds and watch their renewal of life — this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do.” -Charles Dudley Warner, author, editor, and publisher (1829-1900)

Hurray for Photo Friday again! Our backyard is definitely in bloom. I am pruning the hibiscus WAY back because they’ve grown spindly, but everything else is looking lovely. My daughter’s strawberry plants and tomato plant are doing well as is the side patio container garden. We will probably have to water them every day now since it’s been so hot. I am going to try to keep going with it throughout the summer since so many of you have encouraged me. Thank you, as always, for reading. Have a lovely weekend!

“One is closer to God in the garden, than anywhere else on earth.”

Gorgeous blooms. I may plant a few more rose bushes since they aren’t as full as I thought they’d be.

The three mandevillia are really surprising me. It was definitely worth it to free them from the little trellis they came with and set these larger ones up. They are climbing and growing beautifully.

Parsley. We also have mint and basil.

Posted in Photo Friday, Photography, Quotations | Tagged agapanthus, Charles Dudley Warner, container garden, garden, hibiscus, Knock Out Roses, Plant, Tomato | 3 Comments

30 questions

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Naomi

I think the willingness to reflect and grow has always said a great deal about me as a person… let’s see how I’m doing as a wife and mother. Inspired by Mandi and her post “30 Questions to Ask to Evaluate Your Family Life” on her “motherhood your way” blog (she just turned 30), I thought it would be fun to look back at my answers to these questions several years from now. If these questions strike a chord in you, perhaps you’ll try answering them too! So here goes…

1. What is your biggest strength as a parent? I am incredibly patient (this only seems to apply to my daughter; for some reason it doesn’t cross over to myself or anyone/anything else).

2. What is your biggest weakness? I’m probably too much of a softie. I could push her more to step outside her comfort zone.

3. What do you do that you always said you wouldn’t do? I often put myself last. If someone else needs something that I can provide, I will go above and beyond to make sure they get it to the detriment of my own needs.

4. What don’t you do that you always said you would? Light candles for home ambiance, listen to more live music, travel with my husband. Of course, all three of these are limited due to having a little one around.

5. How have you grown over the past year as a parent or spouse? How about the past five years? This past year I’ve noticed that I don’t compare myself to other parents nearly as much as I used to. I would constantly question myself and try to find the “right way” to raise a child and look around to see what they might be doing that I wasn’t. Now I do what’s best for me and for my daughter. As each day passes as a parent, I judge others less and less. As a spouse, I’m getting better at discussing disagreements, explaining my point of view, and giving my husband the benefit of the doubt. I hope he agrees!

6. What triggers you to yell or get impatient? What could you do to prevent those triggers? Really the only thing is when my daughter deliberately disobeys me. I am trying to see those times as more of a cry for attention and get to her before these incidents happen so we can prevent them together. I’ve only ever yelled maybe 3 times and I apologized when we later discussed what happened. No, I’m not a saint, but see #1.

7. What are each of your children’s biggest strengths? My sweet girl is very bright, creative and imaginative.

8. What are their weaknesses? Right now she’s a little too attached to me. I guess she needs something right now that only I can provide… I don’t know if that’s a weakness but I do wish she’d get over it. It is taking some creativity on my part to encourage more independence, but we’re getting there.

9. Where are you inconsistent in your expectations of your kids? I forget often that she’s only 3 years young. I have high expectations and she meets them most of the time, but then she shocks me back to reality with an emotional and nonsensical fit and I remember that she is a child and this is normal.

10. What memories do you hope your children have of this year? Of their childhood in general? Play, play, play. I hope she retains that sense of wonder and of infinite possibilities that she has right now. She will use tools in completely original (I think) ways to create new art or play scenarios. I have never heard her tell me she’s bored… she can play for hours – arts and crafts, role play, sandbox, with dolls.

11. Where do you see everybody in 5 years? In 10 years? I’ve thought about this one a lot and I still have no idea. I can’t imagine my daughter as an 8-year-old, though I have no doubt I will love her older self. I can’t picture what I’ll do with the time I’ll have once she’s in school longer days – will I try to roll out a photography career, get a teaching certificate, create all these art projects I want to, volunteer? And my husband… he is learning and growing every day at work and is going places, I tell you. I wouldn’t set any limits on his potential. I would hope that in 5 years we are both a lot more trim and fit. 🙂

12. Where have you put unrealistic expectations on your kids? see #9. I often expect her emotional maturity to surpass her actual ability.

13. Where are you not expecting enough from them? I need to encourage her to do more for herself physically but also I want to ask her to help me come up with solutions. If she’s having trouble with something, instead of talking to her about it, I should ask her what she could do to change the situation, how she could have acted different, etc. Listen more than talk.

14. How do you make your marriage a priority in your busy life? This is a tough one for us right now. We don’t have much time together at all. I am trying to use e-mail and texts to connect throughout the day so he knows what’s going on and that I’m thinking of him. I know that I feel more connected when he is part of my day.

15. In what ways do you treat strangers better than those closest to you? I am way nicer and more patient. I smile more and make more of an effort. Hmm.

16. How could you show your kids grace when they mess up? Less physical distance; more hugs.

17. How can you respect your kids’ individuality? Ask more questions to learn more about what she’s thinking. Acknowledge her thoughts and ideas. I think I already do this.

18. Does the way you spend your time reflect your stated priorities? I spend most of my time with my daughter and she truly is #1 for me right now. Blogging and photography usually get the rest of my time. I wish there was more time in there to spend with my husband. Theoretically, he is more important than all of these but it doesn’t seem that way when I look at how I spend my time.

19. What time wasters take away from the things that are really important? I am very focused on a tidy home and often can’t relax until the dishes are done, surfaces are cleared, and the laundry is clean. I’m getting better at letting things go every so often because I realize that being with people are more important and that this need of mine is mostly about feeling in control.

20. Do you handle disagreements or arguments in a mature and healthy way? I hope so!

21. Do you have boundaries in place to protect your family time and values? No, I don’t. I think I instinctively do this though.

22. How often do you spend one-on-one time with each of your kids? Often. I am working on giving her one-on-one time with her Daddy to encourage that relationship.

23. Does technology play a healthy or unhealthy role in your family? Healthy, I think. We choose learning iPhone games and shows and only use it for a small part of the day.

24. What do you need to make more time for? Myself. My marriage. Easier said than done.

25. Do your children and spouse know you love and value them? Yes.

26. What are the love languages of the other people in your family? How can you speak those languages? I think all three of us are Quality Time and Physical Acts of Affection. For my husband, he mostly relies on weekends to give him time to express these. I need to get better at receiving his love.

27. How can you be more intentional about spending time together? I will talk with him about setting aside specific time for each other.

28. What issues or struggles leave you feeling overwhelmed? Is there a mentor or counselor you could talk to about them? Just about everything. Raising a child seems to get harder and harder. I need some breaks I can look forward to. I miss reading! I miss myself.

29. Do you choose contentment or discontentment on a daily basis? Mostly contentment. Once a month I choose discontentment and really wallow in it. 🙂

30. What do you most enjoy and appreciate about each person in your family? Husband: kindness and sense of humor and affection; daughter: sweetness and creativity.

Posted in Home, Mindfulness, Motherhood | Tagged Child, Daughter, family, home, Husband, marriage, Parent, priorities | 5 Comments

Do you want to be a better blogger?

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Naomi

Did you know only 4% of the blogs created since 2002 still get updated weekly?

You don’t want that to be you! I recently completed the How To Build a Blog You Truly Love eCourse, given by the fun and colorful Liv Lane, and I can’t say enough good things about it. I learned so much – from domains to blog decor to finding post ideas to promotion to utilizing social media to attracting ideal readers. I found resources I never knew were out there. I made new friends and we are supporting each other still. I got supportive and constructive criticism. I wrote a purpose statement.

Even if you don’t have a blog yet, I highly recommend taking this 6-week course. You can work on it every weekday or do all the lessons on the weekend. You’ll have access to interviews with lots of seasoned bloggers and artists, the class Facebook group, and the website where the class takes place.

Liv says, “The blogs that are booming & blooming these days are those created from the HEART – with palpable passion, a clear purpose, an authentic and unique voice, a commitment to quality content and plenty of room for growth. Those are the things that keep a blogger motivated and keeps readers coming back for more.”

This is the last time this year that Liv is offering the e-course, so I encourage you not to miss it! Class kicks off May 21. Secure your spot now!

“Ready to breathe new life into your blog – or start one from scratch – and make sure it’s a rewarding, fulfilling, authentic extension of YOU? Then treat yourself to six weeks of self-reflection, soulful interactions, fear-busting and all-out magic-making with me and our 20 incredible contributors.”

I’m an affiliate of How To Build A Blog You Truly Love, so if you enroll in the course using the links in this post, I will receive a small, much appreciated commission.