How I lost 20 pounds in three months

I admit it. I’m judgemental of overweight people. I see it as a lack of discipline, a weakness. Even when it applies to myself.

This is not a how-to post about eating celery and drinking lots of water while swinging upside down. All I am doing is eating fewer calories each day (1200 to be specific) and expending more calories than that (exercising as well). It’s not rocket science, but boy is it hard! I have just the same amount to still lose to reach my goal, but I’m not worried because I am already on the right path and seeing positive results and benefits. (Key: those long-term benefits outweigh the short-term appeal of a cookie or pasta.)

I was in a never ending cycle of awareness and then judgement. Awareness of the problem. Judgement of myself. Of course I knew that I couldn’t keep eating as I was eating, but I don’t think I was quite aware of the extent of the weight gain. I was not getting on a scale or focusing on body image. Once I realized and was shocked by the number on the scale, I was awful to myself. In my head, I berated my choices and felt terrible.

“This is not a joke, Naomi. Life is given to you as a gift. You have to be worthy of it. Stop taking advantage of your body and start using it to the best of its abilities. The purpose of your body is to help you do good things in the world. It’s not meant to be a receptacle for Doritos and Dove chocolate. Your priorities are all awack. Put in good things in order to be able to do good things.”

First, I had bring in some self-compassion. “I accept the part of myself that likes sweets” and “Life has had lots of ups and downs lately and stress eating is a fairly normal reaction. Plus, I was focused on many other things.” I saw how I got to the low point and started forgiving myself for it. Almost. This part can also be a trick… I was giving myself excuses to keep doing it.

Second, I had to sink into self-acceptance. And sink is the word for it! I felt soooo heavy, weighted down with extra burdens. I had to truly see the situation without turning away. I had to acknowledge the creaks and cracks in my body as I walked down stairs, the difficulty getting up from the floor, the lack of energy I had all the time. It turns out that I’m not 25 and I’m not a metabolism machine anymore.

Accepting things as they are, including yourself, helps you deal with them more effectively. And so I accepted what I’d done to myself and that I’d actually made everyday life much more difficult by adding an extra 40 pounds to carry around. I also acknowledged that there is nothing I can do about my past choices. However, I can learn from them in many ways. I know that I have certain tendencies and I need to work harder at the discipline required to counteract them. I know that I need to train myself to develop some healthier habits. I know that I need to cook healthier food at home.

Then, I had to overcome the internal resistance. It took me a long time (maybe a year) to overcome this. I just didn’t want to put forth any effort. I don’t have advice for you in this department, but I can say that I ultimately used motivation to swing that pendulum toward overcoming my negative attitude.

Find your motivation. Maybe you want a fit body, a healthy heart, or a longer lifespan. To find my motivation, I tricked myself (without even knowing it)! That’s talent, folks.

I saw an advertisement for some diet pills on Facebook, “magic” pills that make your body burn calories faster with absolutely no effort on your part. I ordered them.

In the 2-3 weeks between ordering them and their arrival, eventually realizing that magic is not real, I found myself getting more and more excited about losing weight. (I did not take any pills but I could not return them…. scam?) Maybe someone would call it “creative visualization.” I saw myself fitting into my clothes again, having tons of energy to play with my daughter, feeling so much more self-confident in my own skin. I literally could not wait for this to be my reality.

So I started on my own. Maybe there is not a magic pill (except for antidepressants… as far as I’m concerned, those are magic), but the weight loss numbers game is fun too… burn more calories than you take in. Simple. I can do that!

Here’s my recipe for success:

Pick a method that agrees with your tendencies. I am an all or nothing person. I commit to something and I put all of myself into it. So I do not allow slipups in any way. There are a few treats built into my 1200 calories and otherwise, no thanks. (There will no longer be Girl Scout cookies stored by the case in my living room, thank goodness. Those Peanut Butter Patties were no joke!) But maybe you are able to overdo it one day and then underdo it the next. Do what works for you.

Track your calories. I downloaded MyFitnessPal back on my iphone to record my food. I also promised myself that I would exercise in some way every day for 15 minutes. Knowing exactly where I stand with the numbers throughout the day helps me tremendously. I put in breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then can figure in snacks along the way.

Find alternate enjoyable experiences and ways to lower stress. The momentary relief I was getting from chocolate fed my brain dopamine, norepinephrine, and natural opiates. My brain circuitry rewarded these experiences with temporary calm and lowered stress hormones.

I like to play with our cat, call (who are we kidding?) text friends, play games with my family, take walks and enjoy being alive. There’s always something in my own mind that I can find to entertain myself too. I write, read, do some art… anything that my brain or body finds enjoyable.

Stay busy. Doing diamond painting keeps my hands busy. I also have had very little time lately to sit and read, which is when I start looking for something to munch on. I’m taking Hebrew and Mussar classes, facilitating a Mussar group, and taking care of my family and home. I also chew lots of sugar-free gum.

It’s the little things that add up over time that make the largest difference. Day in, day out repetition of these choices… will lead to lasting changes in the nervous system, forming new habits and coping skills. Bonus: being good to yourself is good for others too! I’m full of energy.

Does this make you want to join me??? You can do this! Strap on some discipline and let’s go!