To me, a very happy birthday includes some meaningful recognition from your family and a few close friends that you matter to them. It includes a bit of reflection along with looking forward to the year ahead. I don’t need fanfare and presents.
As I approached this birthday, I would be reminded of it by my daughter or my mother, but mostly I forgot it was coming! Turning 41 is not as milestone-ish as turning 40. I’m content and blessed and fortunate to be living the life that I am and I don’t need or want anything more.
But.
This Facebook thing is really great!
I’m now ashamed to admit that when I see notifications on there that it is someone’s birthday, I either call/email/text them directly if they are important to me or, for long lost elementary school friends, I think, “What would two little words from me possibly mean to them? They have their own life going on with people who they see all the time.” But I am wrong. It matters. It really does. Even with someone who is a remote connection, meaningful words can make a significant impact when someone needs it most. A birthday is an affirmation that you are happy someone was put on this earth. That’s sort of a huge deal, right? No matter who it is.
I’ve probably said this every year since I joined it, but I cannot believe the number of people that my life has touched. That 134 people thought that I was worth their time on a random Tuesday to wish me a happy day and year ahead really struck me. Some were from friends I made last week! Childhood friends and even their parents, my daughter’s elementary school’s office staff, blogging friends, PTO friends, friends of friends that I have met once, friends I used to work with, neighbors, teachers, college friends, and on and on and on. I even had a friend/musician sing happy birthday to me on FB! I think that was my fave. I mean, how special can I possibly feel?!?!
In some ways, FB could be a detractor. It makes the numbers seem to count. It makes you wonder… if I have 694 “friends,” why did 560 of them not say a peep? But I’ll take the positives. I got to hear from people I otherwise would not have. And since I hugely dislike talking on the phone, I didn’t have to do that much at all!
I try to give my best self to everyone that I meet. I genuinely care about each person. I also try to see their best selves and let the rest go. (That’s far easier to do with some people than with others.) There have been many times, especially in my teenage/college years, when I felt that I was giving, giving, giving and not getting much in return. I haven’t felt that way since my early 20s, probably because what we need from each friendship or relationship lessens as we mature?
I value my friends because we see the world the same way. Because we treasure our children as well as get annoyed by them in exactly the same way. Because we don’t hesitate to drop off Gatorade or a handmade card when one of our kids are sick. My connections and relationships really matter to me, so it’s lovely when people speak up and say that it’s important to them as well.
Still, the best friendships endure no matter what life events stand in the way. And they always will.
And I am beyond content with my awesome husband, daughter, and kitty, living in our cozy home. I get to watch Sweet Girl grow up. We get to travel. I get to paint, blog, and take pictures and sometimes people even find meaning in them. I have a loving extended family and a few significant friendships. I am swelling with happiness just getting to be me.
My sweet girl and Mr. B woke me up with singing, cupcakes, and a homemade card (my fave). She filled my day with little reminders that this day was very important to her and I could tell she has spent a lot of time thinking about my birthday. She took me to the book store to buy me a book. She insisted we go to Baskin Robbins for my annual PB and Chocolate scoop. She even apologized that she didn’t have anything wrapped to give me. Please! It was the perfect opportunity to tell her what is most important to me and what I truly value. When she asked to play Go Fish before bedtime and I was busy with something else, I saw in her eyes how much she wanted to spend time with me and how happy such a small thing could make her. I said yes. I wonder if she sometimes thinks I’m some sort of superstar.
Sweet girl is very proud to almost be 7 1/2. Right before she closed her eyes at bedtime, she told me to appreciate being 41 because it only happens for one year. I loved being able to tell her the same since she is always wishing to be older. She said she knows, and this time, I think I believe her.
It was a good birthday. 🙂
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