As she turns 7 – parenting in the age of YouTube

GymboreeSweet Girl turns 7 this week.  I wouldn’t have thought it to be such a change, but the past few months have brought sassiness and drama into our lives for the first time.  I blame You Tube, but it’s got to be her friends too (or her friends watching the same videos).  For instance, I had no idea that kids actually say “OMG.” I know we write it sometimes in text messages, but I’d never heard anyone say it. Like out loud.  It sounds ridiculous (or as my daughter would say, “ridic”). In what sense are they in such a time crunch that they need to abbreviate???

I was looking through photos from the first couple of years of being parents, surprised that the girl in the photos is absolutely nothing like the girl we have now, aside from the intensity.  I felt proud of and grateful for the time I spent with her and also sad that that little cutie is gone.  Partly I guess it’s scary to me that then I controlled her environment but now I can only shape so much of her and allow life to do the rest.

Some of the videos she likes to watch are of people opening toys and showing what’s inside and how it all works, girls doing DIY projects of school supplies or home items, any craft or cooking how-to or contest, and behind-the-scenes takes of movies and shows she likes. Actually, her favorite is a home tour, followed closely by a “what’s in my wallet” tour… random, I know.  I guess that’s where she gets all her funny accents and ideas.  She’s also been saying “what the…” and I just this second realized that she does not know that there’s another word that follows!

I asked her last night what she wants this upcoming year to be for her.  She said she wants to be a teenager this year.  I kid you not! I told her that she should enjoy right now because once she is a teenager, she’ll wish she were older still.  There’s always something else to long for, right? I think she wants the hair and nails and phone of a teenage girl.  🙂

IMG_1667Luckily, she still wants to marry Mr. B, snuggle with us all the time, read stories together, and be with us 24/7.  I never thought I’d say that last part but I do see a time when she slams her bedroom door and blasts music, with me dumbfounded and having no idea how to handle her.

Ah, parenthood.

I see her caring much more about friendships and other people, and it’s fascinating to watch her struggle with other personalities.  I hear about know-it-alls in her classroom and bossiness on the playground.  When I was young, I was so shy and timid that I’d never have spoken up about some things that Sweet Girl does, with our encouragement.  Yesterday she said that she finally told a demanding friend at recess that she will not do everything she says to do.   You go, girl! Yes, that other girl walked away to play with someone else, but that’s ok!

I can see that she’s gained huge confidence from learning to read chapter books and do math and print all the letters and generally absorb like a sponge the world around her.  Maybe she will never be one to put dirty clothes in the hamper or be bothered by a mess.  I’m not giving up though.  I hope she will continue to be her lively and extroverted self even when she’s with people like me who need her to take the party to the other room.

In this next year, I hope to be more “in the moment” when I’m with her and less “in my head.” I do worry so much about who she will become but would like to just go with it, assuming she will be a good person and thus enjoying her for what she brings to our lives.  I would like to find a way to impart moral lessons without inducing eye rolling.  Yes, we’ve arrived at that too.  I’m not ready!

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10 Responses to As she turns 7 – parenting in the age of YouTube

  1. Elda says:

    I really enjoyed reading about the funny realizations you are having as she gets older. It’s so fun to watch them grow. One thing I had learned was that I worried much more than I needed to. It’s just natural as parents that we would though.

    You have such a great closeness with her. Savor that. Those memories are so precious! Thank you for sharing that with us here. So sweet….
    Elda recently posted…From ‘Taboo’ To Life’s CallingMy Profile

  2. SKJAM! says:

    I am constantly amazed at how fast my nieces and nephew grow up (the oldest is married now!)

    Also boggled how package-opening videos have become a thing.
    SKJAM! recently posted…Manga Review: Let’s Dance a WaltzMy Profile

  3. OMG parenthood – such a beautiful gift where you get to see yourself grow even as you’re witnessing your lovely daughter grow as well.
    Deborah Weber recently posted…Blowing in the WindMy Profile

  4. Amy Putkonen says:

    This was a moving post, Naomi. They do grow up so fast! I love this line… “In what sense are they in such a time crunch that they need to abbreviate???” Hilarious. Yes, why do we all do that these days? It sounds like she’s got a bit of you in her, and that is a good thing! 🙂 She will become who she becomes. My daughter is 14 and I am so proud of who she has become so far. Yes, there are naturally a few things a mother wishes for her daughter that she does not seem to care one whiff about, but that is because SHE IS NOT ME!

    Fun post. Glad you’re back.

  5. Seven? She’s seven? How on earth is that possible? Man alive, time flies. Oh, Naomi, how splendid that she found the strength to tell Bossy Boots that she’s not prepared to do everything she says. I love that. So much better than being a needy follower. You’re doing a great job. Just take it one day at a time.

  6. Time passes so quickly! She sounds very mature for a 7-year-old to me, but I am not good at judging such things.

  7. Cheryl says:

    This was such a beautiful and truthful read about your life with you daughter. It brought s lot of memories back of “those days”, although we didn’t struggle with the Internet. The worried were the same. Tv was our challenge. Looking at it from the other side now I can see the investment of your time will be such a positive influence on her. Then she will add in her own spirit. Before you blink an eye she will be grown and making you smile with pride. Your both doing wonderfully. Here’s to 7 and all the joy it will bring as you let her emerge into her authentic self. I loved this post Naomi.

    • Naomi says:

      Thank you so much for this comment, Cheryl! I feel reassured already by your sense of perspective. I’m sure most people worry about their kids turning out to be happy and productive individuals. 🙂 I am sighing with relief after reading your words. 🙂

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