Have you ever been in a disagreement with someone and you just knew you were right? You knew that if the other person would only see things from your point of view, with your own history of thoughts, feelings, and experiences, they’d understand?
Who hasn’t, right? Part of being a compassionate person is attempting to feel and see the truth of someone else’s experience.
Let’s define compassion as having a sense of togetherness or closeness with another person, so much so that you recognize that you are not really all that separate. You feel so connected that feelings are shared and there’s no separation between you. When you feel this way toward another person, you naturally want to care for them as you care for yourself, eliminating their distress and helping them in any way.
First we feel empathy, but that emotional connection does not turn into compassion until it is put into action, expressing just how you want to care for the other. How can we become more compassionate? Just like with any tool we want to implement… practice.
It’s hard to stop a judgmental mind from doing it’s normal thing. It’s difficult to consciously drop that sense of separation we feel between ourselves and other person. We can come to care so much for our own needs that we don’t even concern ourselves with anyone else’s. This preoccupation with self prevents us from growing into the person we want to be and overriding your self/instinct takes practice.
And so I’ve challenged myself to rise above this tendency. This week, especially when I drop into judgement or become secluded in myself, I will reach out to understand what something might be like for someone else and act (with love) in some way to help them.
Maybe you’d like to join me? Each day I am actively reaching out to three people with the idea of being generous with my care and effort. There have been many times lately when I’ve thought about someone I know who just lost his soul mate, but yesterday, I realized that those thoughts don’t do anything. I wrote a letter to him expressing my wish for wholeness and peace for him and letting him know he’s been in my thoughts. That action was compassion in action.
Calling a parent or grandparent to say you love them, reaffirming a child by restating their feelings back to them, sending a note or a gift to say you’re thinking of someone, doing the dishes or laundry for someone, donating to a charity, actively listening to someone, etc. I have found that I don’t have to try to come up with ideas… in the course of a day, opportunities to be compassionate naturally arise. It’s up to me to act on them.
Let me know how you show compassion to people in your life.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives, our problems and struggles and little do we know is that if we take the time to reach out to others and help them on their journey it actually will help us on ours as well. Fantastic idea, to challenge yourself and others to show love in a more thoughtful way.
Lindsay Rose Gaffney recently posted…The Blue Butterfly
Thanks, Lindsay. Yes, I agree that helping others feels great and helps us as well. I am finding it really fun to remember and then act on these good feelings.
I love the idea of consciously choosing three ways to reach out. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our own lives, what we are struggling with and steps we need to take to help ourselves, we loose sight of helping others…and how in exchange that actually helps us on our journey. Thank you Naomi, what a nice piece, and my step today will be to call my grandmother as I have been meaning to do it this past week, but just never can put aside a time. Today is the day!
Lindsay Rose Gaffney recently posted…The Blue Butterfly
EXCELLENT!!! What a Marvelous idea for a challenge! Sorry, I missed it. Hopefully you will write a blog post about your experiences this week?
Elda recently posted…I Cannot Wait To NOT See You Again!
Naomi- what a wonderful challenge – something we all should take the time to do. I will be on the lookout in my world for times I can be more compassionate. Thanks for the reminder!
Sue recently posted…Comment on Tips for entering Juried Art Shows by Sue
Thank you Naomi for posting this….while I like to think we should put ourselves first every now and again to re-instill compassion to what we have given away you have set in motion the much needed balance we need in society today. I feel there is a lot of room for both. Giving and receiving. 🙂
Kelli Spencer recently posted…New Moon’s Helping Energy
Definitely, Kelli. Compassion extends to ourselves as well. Today I had an opportunity to take it easy or go get my car inspected. After several non-stop days of not being at home, I decided catching up on reading was more important. Self-compassion!
Enjoyed your post and the challenge you have given yourself. There is a lot of room for compassion and changes in my life. Thanks for sharing this piece with us. It has helped me to look within at myself.
Suzanne McRae recently posted…Creating more of the life I desire…
I always try and find those little opportunities to show compassion with my children. To not get angry when something was an accident, even if I’m really frustrated. To read that book one more time when you really, really don’t want to. I love them dearly and I want to show them that every day.
Melissa, that’s a great point. I find myself much more aware of my emotions and intentions with my daughter, slowing down and being patient and caring. Thanks for your comment!
Oh what a lovely challenge you’ve set for yourself…I know you will pass with flying colors on this…because you are such a good person already…and if the opportunity comes along, I’ll remember this post.
What a beautiful challenge you’ve set for yourself this week Naomi.
I’ve always loved what Nelson Mandela said: “Our human compassion binds us the one to the other – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future.”
Deborah Weber recently posted…A Peek Ahead
That’s a beautiful quotation. We truly are not separate, and realizing it helps us so much.