Job available: Personal assistant

I just went to mom.salary.com, entered in how many hours a week I spend doing various jobs like teacher, cook, CEO, nurse, housekeeper, driver, facilities manager, admin, etc., then I put in my zip code, and they tell me all my work as a SAHM is equivalent to about $134k/year.  I can even print a paycheck just for fun.    So since my services are so valuable, I’d like to outsource some of them and get a personal assistant.  Just kidding.

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Gone are the days…

The area where I live used to be all sugar cane plantations and farms.  My great grandmother owned one of them.  There must have been vast amounts of land as far as the eye could see.  Now, it’s strip mall after strip mall of redundant stores, fast food places, and abandoned buildings.   I often drive by “Coming Soon” signs and I have a brief hope that it’ll be something that breaks the suburban mold, like an independent bookstore or a coffee shop.  But no, we are all doomed for yet another mattress store, cell phone outlet, or mega-gym.  The church down the road is building a new, bigger and better church right next door to their current digs.  I am hoping they don’t do what most retailers around here are doing, which is just leaving the old building sitting there unused.  When did the need for NEW and BIGGER overtake improving what you already have?

I read recently that it doesn’t even make sense to take a vacuum cleaner into a repair shop anymore; a new vacuum is often the same or less than the cost of the repair.  I remember being a child and accompanying my mother a few times a year to the vacuum repair shop, the sewing machine repair shop, the Sears repair center, and many other places like that.  Of course she couldn’t simply Google the problem, order the part online, and fix it herself.  The idea of replacing a broken lawn mower with a brand new one (let alone hiring a lawn crew), probably didn’t even enter into the equation.  Thirty years ago, people made more things with their own hands.  You couldn’t just hop in the car (gas shortage!) and zip over to Target for loads of unnecessary (but fun) plastic items.

Sigh.  I like all the modern conveniences.  I can see we have come a long way from farm life.  I just wish we as a society were more responsible and resourceful.

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Letter to my daughter

My sweet girl,

You are innocence.  Imagination.  Authenticity.  You are my best self.  Pure.  Unedited.

I watch you in an ordinary moment – you are sorting buttons, utterly absorbed in their textures and colors as you count them and rearrange them.  Your wispy hair reflects golden sunshine streaming from the window behind you.  Your eyes are focused and intent.  You are absolutely beautiful, so much so that I could cry.

I can’t imagine anything you could ever do that would cause me to ever love you less than I do now.  You have my heart always.  I believe in you.  I’m excited to see who you are at 5, at 20, at ages I haven’t even reached yet; as a student, as a wife, as a mother; as you grow and find your voice, trust in yourself, overcome obstacles, and cultivate hopefulness in yourself and those around you.

You are vulnerable to the future, as we all are, to all those you haven’t yet met, to all the stories you haven’t yet heard that will shape you, to the places yet unseen.  I hold that vulnerability as a well within myself for you, since you do not yet know it’s there .  And there will be joy, immeasurable I hope.  I wish I could hold you in this moment forever, yet it is already gone. 

I hope we are teaching you compassion, a sense of connection to others, courage.  I hope you feel that you belong, that you are surrounded by love. 

Love,  Mommy

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Decadence

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Reverse separation anxiety?

“You’re pretty attached to each other.” I have been hearing this a lot lately.  I know that my daughter sometimes has trouble separating from Mommy, but what is it about my behavior that leads some people to believe that I am having the same issue? OK, so I didn’t end up putting my daughter in “school” immediately after she turned two.  I don’t just hand her over to the sitter and flee as quickly as I possibly can, and yes, I usually check in once if she was crying when I left.  I make sure my daughter is completely settled at my parents’ house before I leave for a weekend away with my husband.  Is this not normal behavior??? What I wonder is if the social norm for getting attached to your children needs to be reexamined.   What do you think?

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Maternity photo shoot

To view more pictures from this photo shoot, please click here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/nwittlin2/BlogPregnancy?authkey=Gv1sRgCOLN4M6v-qbH-wE&feat=directlink

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