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How motherhood is changing me

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Naomi

Parenthood is challenging. Just when I think I’ve got one behavior under control, something changes. From the awe of pregnancy to this very day, I am learning so much about myself by being a mother.

I am in not in control here. There’s something much larger at work. I have to change expectations and plans multiple times a day. When I was pregnant, I was amazed that my body knew exactly what to do. I was just along for the ride.
My intuition is usually right, only I never listened to it before. I definitely tested it in the early days of motherhood. My intuition told me not to go back to work, but I did; it told me no to daycare for my daughter, but I sent her. I finally learned that I know this little girl better than anyone else in the world and I need to know myself just as well.
I can put up with a heck of a lot more than I ever thought I could. I am a well of patience for this child only.
I feel connected to other parents because they know the highs and lows too.
My heart is so very vulnerable. I treasure her so much.
I strive to be a better person even more now than ever before. Since my daughter repeats every little thing I say, every movement, every action, I must be a very good role model. I want to demonstrate kindness, patience, learning, and generosity.
I appreciate the value of time. Since I lost almost all time for myself for a couple of years, I celebrate even just an hour of reading a favorite magazine at the end of a long day.
I am this girl’s champion. I never wanted to draw attention to myself if I needed something, but now that this sweet girl is here, hand me the megaphone.

Posted in Motherhood | Tagged lessons of motherhood | Leave a comment

Memories of being a new mother

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Naomi

I recently came across this spiral notebook that I used when my daughter was first born to keep track of her eating and sleeping and diapers, my pain medication, and my own sleep (lack of sleep really). Someone had told me that as long as I got 8 hours in every 24-hour cycle, I’d be ok. Each page had a chart to hourly track absolutely everything, and I’d write all the things I wanted to accomplish (like thank you notes or phone calls) and they reappeared day after day after day since I didn’t ever have the time to do them (and I remember that used to drive me batty).

<– I had this hospital brochure cutout pasted on the cover of the notebook and I would look at it every day to answer the questions. So many days, the answers were “no.”

I’m amazed at how isolated I was then. I had not yet met all my new mom friends (without whom I literally can not survive). I didn’t know that so much of what I was going through was a common experience… that being home all day, every day with a baby, with limited perspective that it would get better, was just plain awful.

My daughter is now almost three and I’ve forgotten that I once only slept in hour or two hour chunks; that I often didn’t get to shower until my husband got home from work; that it seemed that all I did some days was nurse the baby and change diapers; that I had to buy a military time watch because I never knew if it was day or night. Scary how much we have the ability to forget! And why does nobody tell us this stuff???

Happy memories are there too, but I don’t think I’ll be going through it all again. The small taste of freedom that I have had since my daughter began preschool three mornings a week has been heavenly. I love being able to read for pleasure again and not just books about playful parenting or discipline or sleep tactics. I am slowly resuming friendships that unfortunately fell by the wayside when I was in survival mode. My house is starting to look like two adults live there as well as a toddler. I don’t want to have to give up caffeine again and I would never forego breastfeeding. Best of all, we have regular caregivers so my hubby and I can date again (each other, of course) and talk about things other than our sweet girl.

So there you have it, friends. Some people can handle the stimulation, marital stress, and identity shift, but I know I can’t. (Hats off to you with multiple children… I am in no way judging anyone else.) I won’t risk this stability or serenity in order to go back to the chaotic days of no sleep, trying just about everything at 5pm to get the baby to stop screaming, making baby food, etc. Especially with a toddler in tow. I’m sure she’d rather have a happy mommy to play with her. I know my hubby would rather have a happy wife. And how great is it that I have time to blog and cook and take pictures and scrapbook and garden and read and see friends and organize closets and send birthday cards and notice nature and do things for myself?

And yet… I feel self-centered for choosing not to use my nurturing and creativity for helping another sweet being enter the world and help make it a better place. I feel that I was meant to be a mother, that I am good at it. Does that mean I should be mother to more than one? I have stopped looking for the answer. For now, I am trusting my instincts.

Posted in Motherhood | Tagged having a second child, new motherhood, only children | 1 Comment

Happy as a hobbyist?

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Naomi

The dreaded acronym… MWAC. Mom with a camera. Maybe it’s because I read so many mom/photography blogs or maybe it’s because so many of us mothers weren’t motivated to delve into photography before we had an adorable live subject to “focus” on, but I have heard this term so often lately that I find myself apologizing for being one, which is just plain silly.

You may know that I’ve been toying with the idea of a photography business. I recently completed the Clickin Moms class, “So You Want to Start a Business?” It consisted of four week-long lessons about price structures, insurance, licensing, and writing a business plan, among other things. I realized that I definitely don’t have the time needed to pursue this at this point in my life. Maybe when my daughter begins kindergarten in a few years I will still want to do this. I am beyond happy to do a job here and there, but nothing “official.”

Just because I can take great pics doesn’t mean I MUST be a professional photographer. BUT, I am looking into selling some of my images online. More about that soon. I do love taking pictures and I love that others get pleasure from them as well.

A free professional photography magazine recently arrived at my house. I got a huge kick out of the mailing label:

Posted in Photography | Tagged business, Photography | 2 Comments

Questions to ask ourselves

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Naomi

The thought-provoking poet David Whyte considers what we should be asking ourselves—especially when we least want to confront our own answers. I highly encourage you to read this article: 10 Questions that Have No Right to Go Away.

“Questions that have no right to go away are those that have to do with the person we are about to become; they are conversations that will happen with or without our conscious participation. They almost always have something to do with how we might be more generous, more courageous, more present, more dedicated, and they also have something to do with timing: when we might step through the doorway into something bigger, better—both beyond ourselves and yet more of ourselves at the same time.

“If we are sincere in asking, the eventual answer will give us both a sense of coming home to something we already know as well a sense of surprise—not unlike returning from a long journey to find an old friend sitting unexpectedly on the front step, as if she’d known, without ever being told, not only the exact time and date of your arrival but also your need to be welcomed back.”

Quotations/excerpts I’d like to remember:

“The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness. You’re so exhausted because you can’t be wholehearted at what you’re doing.”

“Most people, I believe, are living four or five years behind the curve of their own transformation.”

“Gaston Bachelard, a French philosopher, said that one of the beautiful things about a home is that it is a place where you can dream about your future, and that a good home protects your dreams; it is a place where you feel sheltered enough to risk yourself in the world.”

“We need to overhear the tiny but very consequential things we say that reveal ourselves to ourselves.”

Posted in Photography | Tagged 10 questions that have no right to go away, David Whyte, value of a home, wholeheartedness | Leave a comment

Picture Inspiration: Weeks 12 – 16 and 29 – 31

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Naomi

Picture Inspiration: 52 Weeks of Photocentric Creativity and Community

Oh boy did I get behind on this class!

Week 12: Mysterious Ways

There is nothing more mysterious than the creations of Mother Nature. From bulbs to blooms, seeds to sprigs, pinecones to pods – the wonder, whimsy and pure curiosity of these elements can leave me in awe. Be on the lookout for the mysterious.

These Lantana amaze me. I wonder how they “know” to make these little offshoots that turn into individual flowers.

Week 13: From the Ground Up

When it comes to revealing something mysterious, it’s almost always a matter of perspective. There is nothing more enchanting than capturing a flower, or grasses, from the ground up. By taking the perspective of being on the ground while gazing up at even the smallest of ground cover, it can give you the feeling of being in a secret garden. The scale that this angle can provide can make the viewer feel like they’ve been given an insect’s eye view. Your job this week is to find a perspective of enchantment this week!

Here’s a lantana flower from below:

Week 14: Bird’s Eye View

Let’s look at the world with a bird’s eye view. Whether you just look down from where you are or you choose to perch yourself somewhere over the rainbow with the bluebirds is totally up to you. Let’s let the birds of spring be our guides. Do you see what they see? Use your lens to try.

Week 15: Double Vision

First we shot up and then we shot down. Can you believe how totally unique the world can look from such different perspectives? This week we will be studying one object and taking a look at it from these two totally different perspectives. The point here is to see how many different (and refreshing) ways there are to look at just one thing.

The fact that the two photos below fulfill this prompt is by complete coincidence. I shot the first on purpose and then later in the day, I happened to be meeting a friend in the restaurant right behind this fountain so I took another picture very quickly (hence the glare) and actually deleted it. I retrieved it from my Recycle Bin when reading this prompt. Ha!

Week 16: Coupling

Just try to bring two things together (either two of the same things or two totally different objects) in a way that speaks to you.

I have never seen a crepe myrtle tree that had two different color flowers. I studied this tree for awhile but couldn’t see exactly what happened to start a few of the branches to becoming a light pink.

Week 29: Where You Stand

It’s your photographic assignment to capture an image (or 2 or 3) of YOUR feet, standing right where you are. Whenever you want, wherever you are, point your camera down at your feet and click. Say something about you, where you are, what you are up to. Tell us a story of YOU.

2-year-old feet and 36-year-old feet

Week 30: Hands On

Hands down, hold hands, hands to the sky or even hands of the clock. Anything goes. Just be sure to capture a hand or hands, one way or another.

Week 31: Extreme Crop

It takes thought and planning to crop your image (as you shoot it) in a way that doesn’t feel that natural. Use your viewfinder to crop in a way you may have never thought to crop it, in a way that might surprise even yourself!

I love how my daughter immersed herself in the moment when smelling this flower.

Four more weeks of catch-up coming soon!

Picture Inspiration is a companion space to the Picture Series classes and consists of weekly photocentric prompts, challenges and projects. It’s a virtual coffee shop – a place to gather, chat, share photos, glean insignts, ask questions, and get inspired. Through connection and creativity, we are delving deeper into what it means to use photography to reveal the magic in our everyday lives.