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Introducing Self-compassion September

Naomi

When I fail at something that’s important to me, I tend to feel alone in my failure.

I’m tolerant of my own flaws and inadequacies.

When I’m really struggling, I tend to feel like other people must be having an easier time of it.

Tell me you say and feel these things sometimes too.

Of course you do because not one of us is perfect.

selfcompassion sept_blog

Welcome to Self-Compassion September! I’m so happy that we are going to spend an entire month talking about ways we can be kinder to ourselves.  Everyone is worthy of compassion!

I am making my way through an online Self-Compassion workshop co-facilitated by Drs. Kristin Neff (Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself) and Brené Brown and have re-learned that we are all part of a common humanity.  In Kristin’s book, she writes that we need “to stop judging and evaluating ourselves altogether, stop trying to label ourselves as “good” or “bad” and simply accept ourselves with an open heart, and treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring, and compassion we would show to a good friend, or even a stranger for that matter.”  Easier said than done.

“Compassion and loving-kindness are skills – not gifts that we’re either born with or not – and each one of us, without exception, can develop and strengthen these skills and bring them into our everyday lives.” (Chris Germer)

Kristin has a self-compassion assessment on her website where you can see where you might need (ahem) some work.  Turns out I am exceptional in the areas of Self-judgement, Isolation, and Over-identification.  This month especially, I’m working on easing how I talk to myself and reminding myself that I’m part of a larger humanity.

Get ready to learn why failure is a good thing, how we can better talk to ourselves and comfort ourselves, and some of the huge benefits of self-compassion.

If you care to join me, this month I’ll be reading Kristin’s book (Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself) and The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions by Chris Germer.

I also strongly recommend Brene’s book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

“The nurturing quality of self-compassion allows us to flourish, to appreciate the beauty and richness of life, even in hard times. When we soothe our agitated minds with self-compassion, we’re better able to notice what’s right as well as what’s wrong, so that we can orient ourselves toward that which gives us joy.”   (Kristin Neff)

I welcome all your thoughts as we begin our journey toward greater well-being.

Missed any Self-compassion September posts? Read them here.

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6 responses

  1. PR Brady

    Your post caught my eye immediately as I, too have been going through some “stuff”. Those are great reads! It’s really hard to learn not to be hard on oneself….we hold ourselves accountable sometimes beyond anyone else’s expectations. Changing that is a learning process and acquired skill, indeed!

    Reply
    1. Naomi

      Glad to know I’m not alone in this. We definitely all have our “stuff.” 🙂

      Reply
  2. Kelly L McKenzie

    September is a wonderful month to stop and reassess. I wish you much joy and contentment as you navigate your way through the course, Naomi. And yes, I still get a smile as I see that photo of your daughter’s feet and the chalk rainbow.

    Reply
    1. Naomi

      Ah thanks, Kelly! It’s amazing to me that she is the same person now as she was then. I still love her little feet, but they ARE growing!

      Reply
  3. Kimberly Jewell

    Dear Naomi, sorry to hear there are difficulties on your website. I saw it for myself when I clicked your pic and it said my page couldn’t be found, I just went to home of course, but it was a hiccup. But you know my dear, Mercury is in retrograde and these are the kinds of silly things that happen. No worries. About your post, this morning I ended my blog about our year of only eating local. Truth is, it hadn’t really been a year because of my new grandson taking me to VA. Rather than get all finicky and change the name to Our 9-months of Only Local I just tried to end it gracefully. Proud of what I’d done and not what I hadn’t. Your presence here for us is important Naomi. Your presence here and everywhere you find yourself is all we need of you. And you give that. So know you’re doing just fine. Love ya!

    Reply
    1. Naomi

      Thank you so much for saying that. I just Googled the Mercury retrograde and learned that since I’m a Gemini, I’m in trouble… I am not supposed to go to any doctor appointments? Yikes! I definitely am losing papers and the blog is screwy these days, so maybe I should just burrow down and not come out until late September. Misunderstandings can definitely happen and I have already seen a few just because of how I interpreted something someone said. Anyway, I appreciate what you write about presence and being important. That goes a looooong way toward making me feel better. 🙂

      Reply

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