The other day I realized that we have slowly worked our way through 4 boxes of princess bandaids in the past month or so. My daughter has a psycho very strong aversion to any slight scratch, as well as loud noises, eating most foods, and even washing her dear blanket.
A usual day with her contains lots of energy drains – whining, long bedtimes, trying to get some nutrition into her, her continual separation anxiety/my lack of any semblance of privacy. She is growing. She’s not perfect; nor am I. Yet now it’s much less exhausting to me and much more OK.
She has not suddenly outgrown her fears. Rather, the change has come from within myself. I have stopped wishing to escape the situation. I have simply accepted what is and realized how humorous it sometimes is. Somehow I have started laughing at these things rather than getting irritated. Sometimes I see the situation from above, or as if it were on a sitcom, and I find it hilarious. What can I tell ya? It works!
By being more accepting, I am actually much better able to be present for my daughter in what are clearly difficult or fearful moments for her. I am better able to guide her toward changing these annoying behaviors from this mindset than from the perspective of exhausted frustration.
Every time I see from the perspective of LOVE rather than of LACK, I am stretching my heart to be able to let more love inside. Love is what it’s all about. I celebrate the baby steps, the small progress, and the courage to keep trying. And I try to remember that the more I nurture myself, the more love I have to give to those around me.
My daughter will continue to freak out at loud noises or the tiniest of scratches… at least for a while. Yet I love her tiny self so much and I want to fully experience her childhood. I want to love her exactly as she is today. Sometimes she is so dramatic that I can practically see the Hollywood marquee with her name on it in lights. These are the times I know I’m tipping the scale toward more love… for her and for me.
Have a lovely Labor Day weekend, friends. Monday’s post will run on Sunday this week… the calendar pages are flyin’ and it’s already time for another OLW update. 🙂
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The 21 day Kindness Challenge begins September 11. Join me?
keep that smiling going.. knowing that you are helping to grow a well adjusted young lady. Keep in mind that “this too will pass” ! It was the only thing that got me through, ha!
Sue recently posted…Comment on Painting Challenge – Day 3 – Lavender Door, Ireland by Vickie Martin Conison
Sue, I needed this today! Such bedtime struggles lately over here… hours long. Ahhhhh!
What a wonderful mamma that you are. It’s so rewarding isn’t it when we figure out how to look at our challenges from a different angle. I’ve practiced that a few times myself. It ends up bringing so much love to us and our children and in return drops the frustrations that we felt. Bless you! You’ve done a wonderful job! xo
Suzanne McRae recently posted…Book: Dying to be me by Anita Moorjani… and my thoughts about healing!
I never get tired of hearing that. Thank you!
Glad you’re feeling a little more peace with this Naomi. The mom/daughter journey is one of constant unfolding and hopefully lots of laughter along the way. Sometimes it’s a even better mender than a bandaid. 😉
Deborah Weber recently posted…Back in the Counting House: August 2013
oh friend, you are doing a WONDERFUL job at this hard work of mothering.
really, a fantastic beauty of a job.
your sweet sounds soooooo much like my daughter when she was a wee thing
(and I can assure you she grew up graceful and practically fearless about the important stuff…..her quirks are lovable)
bug GOSH it was hard at the time.
wish I’d learned what you have
long before I did.
just so well done, you:)
-Jennifer
Jennifer Richardson recently posted…feathers and stones…
Thank you! Yes, it’s so exhausting with her whining and our lack of sleep! I’m trying to take better care of myself and also to see these days as fleeting. It struck me last night after a day of being apart that I might appreciate her lovable cuteness and creative activeness if we could be a little more separate. When she finally doesn’t want to sit on my lap is when I’ll be ready for her to… Doesn’t seem fair. So maybe if I imagine that time has come?!
These are the things that are so much easier to deal with as a grandmother than they were as a mom. I am with my grandchildren more than most working moms are with their kids, so it’s not the position that is the difference, but rather having lived through it before, you just know how precious those things that drove you nuts are now, in retrospect. I had to laugh about the bandaids, because we are JUST getting through that stage with the 2 littlest. I’m happy for you that you’re figuring this out now!
janet forrest recently posted…This Is Not The Post I Was Going To Write…
Laughing is so much better than crying, I think. And maybe it will help her to not take some things so seriously.
She doesn’t KNOW I’m laughing. She just doesn’t see as much frustration from me. I can’t speak for my other half, of course. 🙂
Bravo for you both!! And for inspiring us all to use humor and look for the love!!