I came across this quote from Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, a few months ago, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since. “At the deepest level, the creative process and the healing process arise from a single source. When you are an artist, you are a healer; a wordless trust of the same mystery is the foundation of your work and its integrity.”
During my adolescence and early adulthood, I had ups and downs with depression. Sometimes it was a quiet sadness. Other times it manifested itself in angry tears. In high school, I could mold myself to fit in with all the groups and be a friend to everyone, but I didn’t really fit in anywhere. I excelled in school because it was a distraction from the building pain inside. There weren’t blogs then to show me how “normal” this was and I couldn’t just run a Google search to find a healthy an outlet for my pain.
Much of my sadness was lack of direction. I could sense no real purpose when I thought of my future and I felt completely stuck. I have always had large dreams and those, in contrast to my everyday life, felt unattainable. Besides medication and self-care, it has always been through creative outlets that I have felt healing.
I’ve thought about the connection between creativity and depression so much over the years, reading about artists’ experiences and noting my own. Many artists are extra sensitive to stimuli and notice feelings, textures, and expressions that may pass others right by (HSP anyone??). The basic need to create comes out of that noticing, I think. For me, it is a means of expression and a release of those painful or lonely experiences. It is a way of forming something tangible when so much within is not. It is a healing of my own hurts.
Pain can manifest itself into poetry, art, music, writing. These mediums bring the blur of life back into focus. They bring purpose, catharsis, and meaning. And there is an instant knowing for me when I read David Foster Wallace’s essays or a poem that echoes the longing I sometimes feel within. Much of my own depressive episodes are lost to me now… I simply can’t remember so much of those times. But I’m still the same person and so I feel an obligation, as well as a need, to tap into that sensitive, creative source within and sprinkle whatever I find there onto my art canvases.
Now I am coming from a perspective of happiness when creating my art. The tunes are on, the windows are open, and I am fulfilled.
I’m curious about your experience and ideas on the connection between creativity and depression (or any illness really). Share your thoughts below.
I see art as a therapy as it brings balance to our energy – mind, body and spirit – so it makes sense that those who may have challenges with depression or mental illness would gravitate towards art as a part of their healing process. Creativity and art are powerful healers 🙂
Michele Bergh recently posted…Finding Peace + Happiness
Definitely! It’s just as freeing, I find, when you need to express joy or hope. 🙂
Your artwork is so beautiful, Naomi. I especially loved your “know that you are loved” piece. Amazing.
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Thanks, Amy! I made that one for my mom for Mother’s Day.
Naomi, I know I’ve evaluated “everything” each time I have a new lens: depression, introversion, energy sensitivity . . . and am always learning more. I love your quote from Rachel Naomi Remen about creativity and healing coming from the same place. And I love your artwork interspersed with your words. Thank you.
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About 3 weeks ago I was listening to Eckert Tolle on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. He was briefly talking about depression, sharing his belief that depression is really a longing. This statement caught my attention so strongly that I wrote it down and also questioned what longings I might have had when I was feeling depressed. I could come up with many. It’s an interesting perspective.
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Something that hits very close to home for me. I’ve also struggled with some serious ups and downs in my life – and I feel that through them I am now able to serve in a more humble and gracious way.
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I’m glad you commented here, Michael. Thanks for reading. I hope we both will continue being on an even path.
Naomi, My parents could always tell what kind of a day I had had in school by what kind of music I would play on the piano. Almost before talking to anyone, I would head straight to my piano.
Today, it helps to understand my HSP symptoms. I have learned to either write or head to my studio to create new pages for my journals. I have found that my feelings are in direct proportion to my lack of confidence. For example, I am told my small journals are amazing, but I have to confess, I have lacked the nerve to put them online. It’s that rejection thing!
I am saving your post to share with others. Thank you!
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Great post. I have battled the “blues” in the past, but even with this long winter this year, because of creativity and art I came through quite happy.
Hi Naomi!
Oh boy, this post certainly caught my attention as I’m struggling a bit with depression. I’m searching to find a way out and perhaps being the creative person I am is screaming for my attention. Can I ask, where would you start if you were I?
I’m moving into a new home and I’m setting up a place to create but I’m not sure where I would begin with all the beautiful supplies I have on hand….
This post put a bounce in my step in hopes that I’ve found a way out of my darkness….
Thanks so much for sharing!
Kind regards,
Karla
Dear Karla,
I’m glad I’ve helped you in some small way. I would say that it’s not really a “way out” but more of a “way in.” Each time I got better was the result of accepting myself wholly as I am, recognizing and changing limiting thoughts and patterns, and really taking care of myself. Also, I always feel better inside if my outside environment is in order, so I understand you not knowing where to begin. I’ve changed my craft room/office loads of times and it’s always evolving. I say spend some time setting it up and start art journaling or writing and see what comes. Know that you are not alone, even though it feels that way sometimes. And it may take talking with someone else to help turn you around. I certainly made friends with therapy!
Wonderful post I too have suffered from depression for periods of time in my life and I certainly feel that creating has helped me. Creating takes me out of myself…
Yes, thank goodness for that! Sometimes I am desperate to get away from myself!
Well, as I’m finding in so many situations, we seem to have a lot in common. I have battled depression from time to time, although mine seems to be more situational – our high school experiences were quite similar. I have not had it diagnosed, but I’m certain I am mildly bi-polar (back in the day we called it manic-depressive.) My highs seem to be a little higher and my lows a little lower than the average/normal person. I’ve learned to take advantage of the manic episodes, and control the depressive ones. Makes for an interesting life!
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Maybe we are both creative geniuses or something! Yeah right. Janet, keeping what you wrote in mind, perhaps you need to give yourself a little extra slack sometimes. Cycles of ups and downs could explain why you get frustrated with yourself for not getting enough done. 🙂 And none of it is your fault so no blaming or judging please. 😉
As A DIRECT result of your tutelage on the subject, I AM being much kinder to myself these days! Thank you for being such a tremendous support for me. How did you get so smart at such a young age???
janet forrest recently posted…Flower Month Day #17
I know that this week, as I have deliberately let some of my art work out into the world, there has been a Tremendous release of energy. I had been holding it in, keeping the art at home because I didn’t feel like it or I was good enough. But I’m learning.
No only do I feel more energy, I know in my heart that this is being true to myself. And that is so so powerful!
I appreciate what you are saying in this post, Naomi.
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I am still stunned that you thought your art wasn’t good enough. I have admired you for so long and just knowing that you have fears has helped me open up about how I might be holding myself back. I have been comparing myself to “famous” creatives and feeling very small. So this week, I’m thinking a lot about your bravery and how I can grow from it. 🙂
And your words brought tears to my eyes! Thank you. In light of the video I watched that Julia made this morning, and all this creative goodness and words of wisdom…I’m finding it hard to concentrate on my “paycheck” job today. I’m very thankful that we are sharing this experience, these words, this creative life. Bless you!
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Your post completely resonates…writing poetry is my therapy whenever I’m struggling. And I relate to the quiet sadness during my teen years – back then I lost myself in books as a means of coping. I completely agree that creative people are hyper-sensitive…thank you for sharing your honest thoughts!
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I’m so glad you shared this.
I learned a while back a lot of creative minds have been tortured with depression or other mental illness. Think about it–how many authors were famous for drinking? How many musicians committed suicide? It’s more common than people think.
I can relate to the episodes part. Some days can be a constant struggle. Finding a creative outlet often lets out the demons inside.
I love your art pieces , especially the last one. Very lovely
I think that sadness or angst makes the art that much deeper. I used to worry that I wouldn’t have any art within to share now that I am better. Now I know that the experience itself teaches us so much gratitude.
Whenever I felt lost or alone growing up, my guitar was my therapist. Song writing was my Prozac. Music was my saviour.
I so agree Naomi. First off, your post is so touching and meaningful, thanks so much for sharing. I find that when I start feeling down or angry it’s because I haven’t done something creative for a while. It’s almost a way to dump or let go of all the negative feelings. I am now at the point where I notice it earlier and can sit down and create to heal myself. Btw, your artwork looks awesome! Love all of the colors.